A fresh start

January began a slow creep out of unhealthy. 

It was slow but successful. January was easy. I went for runs multiple times a week, ate relatively healthy, and felt great.  

February continued similarity. I felt healthy even while still knowing that healthy itself was far. 

March. March wasn't good. The first two weeks were so busy that I didn't have time to run. I'm all for making time for the important things but for those two weeks, I was busy in the worst way. 

Mid march I went for a run. It felt great to be back out after a couple weeks away. So great that I went again a few days later. Again it felt great. 

Well, it felt great until the last few minutes when I suddenly was overwhelmed by pain. The type of pain that led me to call my mom, sit on the sidewalk, and cry. 

I was discouraged. I had finally stopped having knee pain when running and had felt like I was about to hop back into a good rhythm. 

The pain scared me and the 6 blocks of excruciating pain that I had to walk were tear filled and oh so very slow. I'm not a push through the pain type girl. I'm very much a wuss and so running ended. So did healthy eating. 

March turned into a write off month. 

April ran similarily, until I went for a walk two weeks ago. The walk, alongside my Mom, went through trails near my parent's home. 

As we weaved up and down the trails, I started running. It made sense. My body felt ready. 

I got home a few days later and felt ready to run again. The busyness of March had followed me though so finding a time proved difficult. 

Until last night. Last night I ran. And it was glorious. 

My version of running is still app aided, with walking/jogging intervals, but it's sweet to my soul to get out and run. 

And last night was extra great because I decided to run to a worship album instead of my normal pop beats. 

I love my pop beats (I actually very much love top 40 - fun fact right there) but as I alternated between walking and tuning, my soul participated. 

I mouthed words to my Jesus as I huffed and puffed along. 

It's always the right day to start again. A fresh slate comes alongside new mercies, I really do believe. 

What's your fresh slate? Where do you need to simply start?

{a walk through} psalm 103

{a walk through} psalm 102

As I sat down to make the image for this Psalm, I opened up Psalm 102 over on the ESV website. I read it, and it was one where I wasn't sure which words to focus on.

Was I to focus on the first two verses? The words resonated so clearly.

     Hear my prayer, O LORD;
     let my cry come to you!
     Do not hide your face from me
     in the day of my distress!
     Incline your ear to me;
     answer me speedily in the day when I call!
Psalm 102:1-2 

One of the things that I’ve loved studying the Psalms over the past year and a half has been seeing how much emotion seems to be allowed. I think I grew up kind of thinking that emotion was bad, at least before the Lord. Learning that He accepts my emotion? That’s been freeing.

Then verse 7, it struck out with its beautiful imagery.

     I lie awake;
     I am like a lonely sparrow on the housetop.
Psalm 102:7

Verse 12 reminded me of how powerful God is. I had just finished listening to a sermon on Jesus in the days before He went to the cross. The imagery of God’s power (not a fake image, a true image) mingled closely with His humility before the cross in my mind.

     But you, O LORD, are enthroned forever;
     you are remembered throughout all generations.
Psalm 102:12

I think it was because of all these other verses, the words I was reading and truth I was encountering that caused me to start weeping as I read the next few verses.

     Let this be recorded for a generation to come,
     so that a people yet to be created may praise the LORD:
     that he looked down from his holy height;
     from heaven the LORD looked at the earth,
     to hear the groans of the prisoners,
     to set free those who were doomed to die,
     that they may declare in Zion the name of the LORD,
     and in Jerusalem his praise,
     when peoples gather together,
     and kingdoms, to worship the LORD.
Psalm 102:18-22

. . . To set free those who were doomed to die. Wow. That line. It hurt me a little bit, in the best way. Jesus sets us free. His work on the cross, His death and resurrection, the fact that He was fully dead and experienced being forsaken by God, the fact that He was raised from the dead, the fact that those who call upon Him, they receive life! It hurts me because so often my life doesn’t display the truths that I profess.

I want to record the truth! I want to keep writing so that those who come will see and know that the Lord Jesus Christ was ruling my life. I want not only the typed words I share to profess it for me, I want every aspect of my life to point to the Gospel, to Jesus Christ my King.

Verses 25-27 also caused me to just pause my day, to consider all who God is, to worship Him for who He is.

     Of old you laid the foundation of the earth,
     and the heavens are the work of your hands.
     They will perish, but you will remain;
     they will all wear out like a garment.
     You will change them like a robe, and they will pass away,
     but you are the same, and your years have no end.
Psalm 102:25-27

He is God. He is worthy of all worship. He will remain forever.

Do you believe? If you don’t, you can! Simply confess that Jesus is Lord, believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, and turn from the things that keep you from Him. I promise He will accept you if you call upon His life. 

 

Bless the Lord

I still remember her words vividly:

Nadine, I know you trust God through suffering, because I've seen you do it and I'm watching you do it. But do you trust that He has good for you?

That was at the very beginning of last fall. 

After having my eyes open to the fact that I didn't, I became determined to believe rightly. 

I prayed almost daily, simply asking for belief. I asked God to show me His love, to remind me who He was. 

It took awhile, mostly because I'm a stubborn sinner, but lately I've noticed myself having what feels like new beliefs. 

I believe that God has good for me. And that belief is changing everything - my confidence, my joy, my hope, my sorrow. 

Bless The Lord, His faithfulness ensures forever. And ever and ever and ever. 

{a walk through} psalm 101