{a walk through} psalm 119

Can I just say that this is a verse I can get behind? Specifically the first part. 

I would like to have good judgement, to have a lot of knowledge. Not necessarily book knowledge, but a knowledge of how to live a good life and get the things that I would like. 

Right?

Yet I kind of think that this is not the knowledge this text is speaking to. 

Because of the second half. 

Teach me for: I believe in Your commandments. 

This kind of teaching, this kind of learning, it comes out of already known truth. 

In the times of this scripture, Jesus wasn't yet a "thing" to anybody. He wasn't really a bit deal yet. 

But today? Today He is. 

So thinking about the commandments that the writer would have been alluding to, and to the commandments I know to be my life call from Jesus (love God and love others), I need to rethink my learning. 

I don't want to learn for my benefit. I don't want to learn more things so that I feel fantastic about myself.

I want to learn truth so that I can spread the Gospel. For the glory of God and for the benefit of His children. 

{a walk through} psalm 118

{a walk through} psalm 117

{a walk through} psalm 116

I had arrived home weary.

It frustrated me that I was weary, because life was in a good place - nothing was actually going wrong, why was my soul sad - yet I knew that there was only one place for me to turn.

In my old apartment, I had my spaces for weary. The first space was my living room floor. Next was my bed. Worst case scenario was my car. I’ve had the same car for so many years now that it is one of the most safe spaces I ever encounter. My car’s name is Drew - Drew has heard many tears, fears, hopes and joys.

I have lived in the same basement suite now for nearly seven months. While it is home, it still has not become a place of peace for me. Well, that’s not quite true. It is a place of peace, but I rarely feel like the space is capable of holding me if I break. I think that idea might not make sense to anyone but myself. 

I trusted my old apartment. I trusted its walls and its creaks and its windows that leaked anytime it rained. 

For whatever reason, this new - albeit not really new anymore - space has not yet gained my trust. 

That night though. I was weary. The day had not been bad, but my heart was feeling tender and unsure about things.

So much of my life currently feels like a delicate dance of trust and hope. The lovely part of this season is that it is not a sad dance. It is mostly beautiful. Yet beauty is not void of tension. Beauty is the eyes that can still shine amidst the tension.

I walked in, shut the door, and walked to my room. I closed my bedroom door and moved to the floor. I knew that the Lord was the only one who could meet me where I was.

I knew that He would mend the hurt, but He would only do it if I told Him every single thing that hurt - He would only heal me if I let Him into my hurt.

First I begged Him to let me cry.

Tears are one of many things I have never felt that I have any type of control over. Tears are an unknown to me. They are beautiful and necessary and absolutely loved by me yet I rarely feel as though they arrive when I would like them to arrive. 

So first I begged Him for tears. I wanted to be honest before the Lord and that felt only possible if my throat would be sore from crying. 

I’m not sure if that will make sense to anyone. But that’s how I needed to arrive.

Ellie Holcomb sings: “my throat is worn out from calling for help and I am praying You’ll restore my life”. 

I was worn out because I had not been calling for help.

I had been pretending. 

I had told myself that it was in the name of being angry and not sinning, but really it had been because I was not quite sure how to approach God with my anger. 

So finally I did. 

I told Him of a way that He had hurt my feelings. And then I told Him of another. 

I listed off my hurts, adding in my worries and fears, and I asked Him to step up and be the God that He is.

I whispered and wept, honest before my God in a way that I had missed for a very long time.

I believe that it is when I am most honest before God that He can do the biggest amount of showing off. As in, when I stood up from my space on the ground, an hour later, I was no longer weeping. My tears had dried, my fears were gone. I was no longer unsure about what my life looked like. I felt refreshed and excited, ready to walk faithfully in the things He has before me.

The Lord healed me of my hurt and handed me hope.

If I had not gone before God - in an honest and healthy way - I would not have experienced His healing.

This weeks Psalm reminds me of that night. 

It reminds me that God is gracious and merciful and righteous. 

It reminds me that it is absolutely necessary to call out to God in brokenness. 

It reminds me that God is faithful to respond.

When I was brought low, He saved me.

That is good news.

I

{a walk through} psalm 115

{a walk through} psalm 114

{a walk through} psalm 113

{a walk through} psalm 112

{a walk through} psalm 111

{a walk through} psalm 110

{a walk through} psalm 109

{a walk through} psalm 108

{a walk through} psalm 107

If Psalm 105 was a reminded that God is in charge, and Psalm 106 was a reminder that it is important to remember, Psalm 107 shows that repetition is important. 

This Psalm shares ways that The Lord redeemed His people. 

Verses 6, 13, 19, and 28 all share the exact same words. Right after sharing a way that the people of God were in distress each verse reads: then they cried out to The Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. 

Four times in one Psalm. Seems important hey?

Following each of these comes another piece of repition (verses 8, 15, 21, 31): Let them thank The Lord for his steadfast love, for his wondeous works to the children of man!

Four times? Seems important. 

Repition is important. I think this Psalm is given to show that God is continuous in His faithful redemption. 

The Psalm ends this way (v. 43):

Whoever is wise, let him attend to these things; let them consider the steadfast love of The Lord.

{a walk through} psalm 106

Akin to last weeks Psalm, Psalm 106 is one that shares a bit of a story. It's a retelling of things that have happened. 

One thing I've learned through studying the scripture is that it's important to remember. 

To remember the stories of old and see God's faithfulness. 

To remember the iniquity of all. Mostly to recognize the iniquity and sin in ourselves. If we don't realize that we are the deprived sinner, we will never ever recognize how very glorious the Gospel is. 

We need to remember what God actually has promised. Culture, even church culture, gets confused about what promises God has given us. Spouses, children, and riches aren't promises of God. New life though, through the work of Jesus, that is promised. 

There were a few sections that stood out to me specifically.

Verse 13 says "but they soon forgot his works; they did not wait for his counsel". It made me want to remember. To study His truth, to know His works and to wait only on Him. 

Verse 24 says "then they despised the pleasant land, having no faith in his promise". Reading that verse made my heart want seek more faith, a faith that doesn't despise where He has me. 

Verse 45 speaks of God remembering his covenant for "their sake". Sometimes I forget that the cross hurt Him. Obviously I never forget that it was physically painful, but sometimes the loss that Christ suffered for me - I forget that He did it for my sake.  It's amazing and genuinely the best thing ever. Thank You Lord. 

It is good to remember His words. 

What have you studied lately? Anything sticking out as you think back as truth to cling to? It's all truth to cling to, but what is impacting your life?

{a walk through} psalm 105

I went into this Psalm wanting to hear from God. I've been praying about having an expectant heart, of expecting God to show up. 

That's a new prayer for me, but it's also been a good one. The more I pray it, the more I see Him move. 

I noticed quickly that there was a beautiful theme in this Psalm: God chooses what happens. 

Flip to the Psalm if you can and watch what happens. 

He is The Lord. 
He remembers. 
He confirms. 
He allows. 
He summons. 
He sends. 
He makes. 
He turns hearts. 
He speaks. 
He gives.
He strikes. 
He delivers. 
He shows. 
He remembers.
Praise The Lord. 

This list isn't even exhaustive. It really only captures a part of the Psalm, and without the statements being ended, it's barely even enough to share. The entirety of the Psalm is incredible to me.

I wrote a few notes as I read. I was reminded that God chooses what happens. This is a good thing since He knows all things. He determines where things go, how things happen, what doesn't happen. He allows sun and rain on the good and evil (Matthew 5:43-45).  

I was reminded that the Lord remembers. He remembers His promises, His covenant. He is faithful to complete His work. Praise Him for that. 

My heart was full and encouraged as I studied this Psalm. 


What about you? Did you take time to read it? If you did (or if you will now,) let me know what stood out. I'd love to hear. 

{a walk through} psalm 104

{a walk through} psalm 103

{a walk through} psalm 102

As I sat down to make the image for this Psalm, I opened up Psalm 102 over on the ESV website. I read it, and it was one where I wasn't sure which words to focus on.

Was I to focus on the first two verses? The words resonated so clearly.

     Hear my prayer, O LORD;
     let my cry come to you!
     Do not hide your face from me
     in the day of my distress!
     Incline your ear to me;
     answer me speedily in the day when I call!
Psalm 102:1-2 

One of the things that I’ve loved studying the Psalms over the past year and a half has been seeing how much emotion seems to be allowed. I think I grew up kind of thinking that emotion was bad, at least before the Lord. Learning that He accepts my emotion? That’s been freeing.

Then verse 7, it struck out with its beautiful imagery.

     I lie awake;
     I am like a lonely sparrow on the housetop.
Psalm 102:7

Verse 12 reminded me of how powerful God is. I had just finished listening to a sermon on Jesus in the days before He went to the cross. The imagery of God’s power (not a fake image, a true image) mingled closely with His humility before the cross in my mind.

     But you, O LORD, are enthroned forever;
     you are remembered throughout all generations.
Psalm 102:12

I think it was because of all these other verses, the words I was reading and truth I was encountering that caused me to start weeping as I read the next few verses.

     Let this be recorded for a generation to come,
     so that a people yet to be created may praise the LORD:
     that he looked down from his holy height;
     from heaven the LORD looked at the earth,
     to hear the groans of the prisoners,
     to set free those who were doomed to die,
     that they may declare in Zion the name of the LORD,
     and in Jerusalem his praise,
     when peoples gather together,
     and kingdoms, to worship the LORD.
Psalm 102:18-22

. . . To set free those who were doomed to die. Wow. That line. It hurt me a little bit, in the best way. Jesus sets us free. His work on the cross, His death and resurrection, the fact that He was fully dead and experienced being forsaken by God, the fact that He was raised from the dead, the fact that those who call upon Him, they receive life! It hurts me because so often my life doesn’t display the truths that I profess.

I want to record the truth! I want to keep writing so that those who come will see and know that the Lord Jesus Christ was ruling my life. I want not only the typed words I share to profess it for me, I want every aspect of my life to point to the Gospel, to Jesus Christ my King.

Verses 25-27 also caused me to just pause my day, to consider all who God is, to worship Him for who He is.

     Of old you laid the foundation of the earth,
     and the heavens are the work of your hands.
     They will perish, but you will remain;
     they will all wear out like a garment.
     You will change them like a robe, and they will pass away,
     but you are the same, and your years have no end.
Psalm 102:25-27

He is God. He is worthy of all worship. He will remain forever.

Do you believe? If you don’t, you can! Simply confess that Jesus is Lord, believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, and turn from the things that keep you from Him. I promise He will accept you if you call upon His life. 

 

{a walk through} psalm 101

{a walk through} psalm 100

That’s a lot of exclamation points for the Bible, don’t you think?

As I looked at Psalm 100, (p.s. we’re at PSALM 100!!!) I noticed a bunch of beautiful and happy words. A heart excited to worship, acknowledge God, know Him, love Him.

I looked it, and I felt sincere joy and excitement over who God is. And then immediately I felt burdened.

Because I can easily remember when I haven’t felt that joy. I remember long seasons, some recent, some longer ago, when living out (and sometimes even simply believing) these words would have been hard.
 
Well maybe that’s not what stood out to you but to me, I noticed a fiery passion.

And I think when you feel that fiery passion, you should live it out.

But when you don’t, I think you should invite God into the hurts and the wounds. You could say things to God like, My feelings have been hurt, and it feels like by YOU! And You’re God so I know that You are good and loving but my heart is hurting. Will you give me more of yourself so I can remember the truth I know?

I wrote a post last year about how it’s okay if you’re not okay, and I shared the image on instagram recently, and I think sometimes we just need somebody to come alongside us and say that it’s okay if you’re not okay.

Sometimes we need the friends who say that it will be okay again someday, but sometime, gosh, we need the friend who sits beside us, holds our hand and doesn’t let go.

This has been a new season for me, to not feel like life hurts. It hurt for so long, for such specific reasons. And all of a sudden I'm feeling joy again, the joy I prayed for so very desperately.

But I'm sitting beside a sister who just lost a baby, a friend torn over a decision about a boy, another friend whose plans got thwarted by politics, a Dad who is sick, and just a list I could keep writing of people walking in broken seasons who are genuinely broken.

And the way they feel is right and okay. The way you feel is okay too! The Bible is clear about not sinning in our anger, and sin done against us or around us is never an excuse to sin, but grace and grace and grace and grace and there is so much grace! 

I remember last year, sitting on the floor at church, sobbing as the entire church sang the bridge of oceans. I heard everybody singing "Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders" and I was sobbing "Please no further. Please no further. You've pushed my trust to the edge. PLEASE Lord. No further".

There's a place at the table of God for the broken, because truly truly, we're all the broken. Jesus is the mender, the healer, and in His goodness and grace and even His timing, He heals us. And I think some of us get to be healed here on earth of the hurts and I think some of us won't know healing until heaven.

 

So today I leave you with a beautiful song called a reason to sing by all songs and daughters. Just in case you’re not okay and you’re not quite sure how to express yourself to God. I find peace, or at least some peace, when I sing this song. The first video is the song and the second is a beautiful description of the song that the writers shared. I really resonate (as a writer and as someone who used to write a lot of songs) with much of what they said, specifically in the first 2 minutes.