Switches

You might notice the background looks different today.

The changes I started mentioning months and months ago are finally happening. I'm more indecisive than I thought so it took me a while to get a point of feeling confident moving forward.

The lovely Jessi of Naptime Diaries has got to be the most gracious designer I've met. She's been patient as I've taken forever to make decisions and quick to offer beautiful design. I'm so excited for what's coming!

Pay attention because fun changes are arriving soon.

I've been writing up a storm. I'm excited to share what Jesus has been putting on my heart.

I'm also going to share my testimony - eeeeek this scares me.

And a few other things I've got tucked up my sleeve.


If you notice formatting issues, either offer grace or suggestions - the changes will come and there might be issues due to my own lack of education with html and blogger stuff.

Honestly though, It's all about Jesus and for Him, so the goal is His glory, not my blog looking good.

Meandering Words

I've been thinking a lot about the post I wrote the other day on not being okay, and being okay with that.

It's got more feedback than normal on that post. I've had more friends comment about it, some messages, a few actual blog comments.

I know (and I pray) that God will use this blog through anything I post but it is definitely interesting to see which posts garner a lot of attention. This one on living a life of pages got the most I've ever seen around these parts of the blog world. This one here on living a life that doesn't "do it all myself" also hit home for people.

And then there's this one. After I wrote it, God and I wrestled. Or at least we sort of did. It wasn't physical quite like Jacob's battle, but it was physical in the sense that Jesus won. I'd written that post with a bit of honesty mixed with some embellishment. I hadn't yet found comfort. I wanted it, and I knew God would bring it, but I hadn't actually surrendered my issues to Him quite yet. I went to bed that night and I yelled at Him. I cried. I wept. I hurt. And then I surrendered. It hurt. It was hard. But that's sanctification. 

In the morning, I tentatively asked my roommate if she'd heard me the night before. Nope. Oh good. . . I don't quite know how she didn't hear me. I'll give that miracle credit to Jesus.

I want to write with purpose. I desire to share what God is doing, because God is doing stuff. I see it in my life, I see it in the lives of those around me. I watch it happen in a lot of the blogs I read. People being honest about who Jesus is, what they struggle with, and how much they need Him.

I posted something a bit ago. It's actually one of my favourite pieces I've written in a while. I think it's because a lot of the words are copyrighted to Jesus. It was on prayer. Have you read it? It makes me excited when I re-read the post.  I know this might sound odd, or like pride, but trust me, being excited about sometime God put on your tongue keyboard isn't always pride. Sometimes it's joy: the kind of joy that for me only arrives when I lean on the Holy Spirit instead of myself. 

As I drove home Monday night, I was praying about something, and I just told Jesus how cool it is that I can trust Him with it. I can trust Him because He is God and He knows all things. He works all things for His glory, so I can rest easy (I feel like I say that a lot - that I can let go of control because He is in control, that I can have faith because He is God, etc.). That's hugely comforting. I hope you know Jesus. I really do. I hope you love Him with your whole heart. That you live out the Gospel and that you're a Christian who shows your faith in actions, words, and truth.

I need to become okay with the fact that not all my words will bring in views. I'm not always okay with it (because this girl has huge pride issues and lack of confidence issues and overabundance in fear issues) but I am loved by the King of kings. That helps ease all issues something fierce.

Pride is overcome when I confess it as sin, repent of that sin, and replace it by giving all praise to Jesus.

Lack of confidence is overcome when I confess it as sin, repent of that sin, and rest in the fact that my confidence is in Christ.

Fear is overcome when I confess it as sin, repent of that sin, and replace it with faith and love.

And I Wonder?

God's been doing a little stirring in my heart lately.

I've mentioned it here a bit, and I've chatted with some friends about it a bit, but mostly I've just kind of sat before Him and asked:

Really? Really? Seriously? This is what You would have me do? You want me to blog more? To change the name, and layout and have features and silly things like that?

'Cause You know my deceitful heart and my desperate desire for praise and the pride issues that plague me every minute. You know them, and You hear my cries for forgiviness each day, and You forgive me each day and You are amazing.

But seriously - God. Are You sure? 

Then I sit back and I let Him speak.

The other day He reminded me that I (Nadine) am not God. He is God.

That was helpful. It was. I think I had forgotten or something.

. . .

But can I be honest for a second? Well, I'm always honest here (or mostly - as often as I can be).

Blogging freaks me out.

. . .

I was messaging someone last week about these struggles of anxiety I've been floating through and and I replied to some encouragement from them with a text that said

"sinful and useless" (speaking of myself)

to which they replied with truth that led me to Jesus.

"redeemed" and "fruitful"
That's your identity. Don't forget it.

So today, I'm going to attempt to rest in the knowledge that my identity is in Christ, that I am redeemed, and fruitful.

And though I'm still not sure why He's using me, and I wonder at why people read this thing - I'll rest assured that He knows.

a Secondary Heartbeat - new blog name

What's in a name? A lot or a little? I can't quite decide. I have decided, however, to change the name of this blog.

When I moved to Vancouver just over two years ago, I came here to find God. I was sick of a double life and moved here to change my surroundings and I began a slow surrender to Jesus. It took me a while to find my Jesus feet again but eventually He found me!

At the beginning I mostly wrote about all the things I did but these days I write (and want to write more) about what God is teaching me. 

Thus begins

a Secondary Heartbeat. 

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I've got two heartbeats in me. One is my own. The other is run by Jesus. He's working in me to live for Him. 

One is natural and beats just like any other 'ol heart. The other beats for Jesus. He's pushing that secondary heartbeat to beat different than culture, different than human nature, and to beat exactly the way He designed it to beat.

At my church, they talk often about "checking your heart". It's a beautiful reminder to make sure that your heart is aligned with your Saviour. It's typically said when checking motivation for why you might be doing something. I want Jesus to be checking my heart. 

As sinners, we gravitate to sin. By Jesus, we're pushed into grace.

I need Christ to be my secondary heartbeat.

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I'm often told by people that they love my heart. I think I should assume they mean the way I demonstrate my love for Jesus (or at least I hope that's what I should assume since it might be odd if they actually love my physical heart).

To me, those compliments are both surprising and exciting - if only they saw the sickly sinful state of my heart! I sin often, need grace more than I think, and am constantly messing things up. Time for more grace. I have pride issues, fear issues, and more sins than I care to admit. The exciting part is that maybe just maybe Jesus is working in me! Okay, not maybe - Christ is working and demonstrating grace daily in me. Wow.

Jesus forgives my sins. 

Jesus is my hope. 

Jesus is my joy. 

Jesus fills my heart with peace and reminds me that He's not through with me yet.

There are two verses that I have called life verses, however cliche and awful the term "life verse" may sound like, for several years.

Proverbs 3:3 says:

 "Let love and faithfulness never leave you;

      bind them around your neck,

  write them on the tablet of your heart."

Matthew 14:14 says: 

"When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and      healed their sick."

These verses help me live out my secondary heartbeat. I attempt to live with love and with faithfulness bounded around me. I attempt to live with compassion for whomever I meet regardless of my personal circumstance or emotion. All these things are based out of a love for Jesus, only known because of all He did on the cross and by raising up from the dead. Oh praise Him!

Let's journey together.

Welcome to a Secondary Heartbeat.

On a strictly practical note, I changed the name because "from the sight of a city girl" is sooooooo long. I myself can barely remember it. I wanted things to be easier and to reflect my heart for Jesus. 

The new url is similar to my twitter name which I've been using for months to try it out and see if it fit. The url is www.nadinewouldsay.com because these are my words - and I say them. Easy peasy. So much better than before.

Good Growth

From the Sight of a City Girl is about to get some changes!


I am very excited. I've been both wishfully and prayerfully considering making some changes for a while and have decided to bite the bullet (what does that even mean???)!


Some of what's to arrive is:


Blog Series!
Featured Blogs!
Consistent Posting! (only by HIS grace)
Navigation Bar! (woot woot!)
a New Template
and probably a new name!


I'm not quite sure what God's plan is for this blog and why He's putting it on my heart to make it a bigger aspect of my life, but His response to most of my questions is basically just one answer lately.


God, I'm not quite sure why this is the plan.


I know you don't Nadine. But I do.


Are you as excited (read:nervous, scared, not quite sure what God is doing) as I am?