14 September 2011

Carry Me

Pain is a forest we all get lost in
Between the branches hope can be so hard to see
And in the darkness we've all got questions
We're all just trying to make sense out of suffering but

You say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, You'll carry me
Help me believe i
t

Fear is a current we all get caught in
And in its motion faith can be so hard to find
And we all falter 'cause we're all broken
We're all just trying to turn the shadows into light but

You get glory in the midst of this
And You're walking with me
And you say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, You'll carry me


And I know Your promises are faithful
And God, I've seen Your goodness in my life
And oh, I've found Your mercy is a river
Your love is an ocean wide
You say I am blessed because of this
You get glory in the midst of this
And You're walking with me


And You say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, as I carry this cross
'Cause as I carry this cross, You'll carry me

You'll carry me, God
You'll carry me
And Your love is an ocean wide


-Audry Assad
I just need to point out that the Lord has blessed me with incredibly supportive friends and family.

I'm seeking to surround myself with His truth today.
I don't want to listen to sad songs and get angry.

I want to look back on this time and see that God worked because God is working.

This past year is not one I wish to repeat.
I hated losing my job, questioning timing of various lack of opportunities, working in jobs where I had little joy, slowly watching things change when I needed faster results, and the opposite of waiting a lot in amidst feeling like I was ready for things.

Nothing has been my timing. Nothing.



This week I keep reminding myself of how hard this year has been.
I need also to remember the goodness.
God has taught me more this year than I think any other year combined, and I trust that I'll say the same thing next year.

I've learnt the importance of naming my sin. Naming, claiming, refraining.
Then rethroning Christ.

Heartache is a new thing for me.
At least this kind of heartache.
I've been single before. I spent most of my life here.
This time it is harder though.
It's hard to no longer get to hang out with the someone who was becoming a part of my daily life and certainly a part of my forever dreams.

Yet I have to trust.
I don't want to.
If anything it actually angers me that I know that God is faithful.
It'd be a lot easier to choose to sin and be angry and bitter, but I can't.

God is too good for me to waste time.
He is too faithful for me to forget.

-Nadine