held fast feet

Truth.

Jesus is in me always

Up until the other day, I thought I needed to preface/finish everything I spoke and wrote with Jesus. 

But here's the thing, Jesus is in me always. I can be honest.

I went for lunch last week and was honest with a friend about some areas I'm wrestling with lately.

Then I went for drinks with friends in the evening and was honest about how I was feeling about singleness.

(note: I don't think I've been making a habit of lying. I think I just tend to keep a lot of myself hidden for protection. Some of which is natural and normal, and some of which is rooted in fear of man.)

I've gotten excellent, as I realized last week as I wrote the coffee date post, at not being honest with people.

I'm working at fixing that up. I'm not quite sure how to be honest. Sometime in me decided that if I acted selflessly, (read: not telling the people who are supposed to know how I am actually doing in life) people would want to be my friend. 

And if I acted strong, maybe I could convince people that I was.

I've been trying to hold my life up on my own strength.

I want to end this post with Jesus.

Not because I have to, in a if I don't write His name enough in a post, you might think I don't actually love Him enough but in a I NEED JESUS right now because nothing else works.

I'm working on things but all I can do is surrender.

How do I reconcile these desires? Desires to serve with needs to be honest? Desires to love with my apparent need to gain love?

I sent an honest email to one of my pastors this week and his reply started with this:

Nadine,
Take a deep breath. Now, exhale, take another deep breathe and exhale again.
(And then don't stop that, because breathing is important...:) )
You're fine. Wrestling with God is good, resting in his mercy is better. . . .

As his email continued, he pointed me to Jesus and just encouraged me to ABIDE in God's love.

Sounds like a plan, eh?

What do you do? Do you try to put up a strong front, be fully honest, or find a middle ground? What's the right thing to do? 

I lived the first 18 years of my life on rules. Then I spent 3 years breaking them. Now I've spent 3 years relearning Jesus and lately found myself living by them again. Whoops!

You ? What do you do?

P.S. I'm been writing my testimony out. It's taking me some time because it's scary to share the parts of my story where I didn't love Jesus. I'm praying over what to share, how much to share, and how to share. Pray okay? Cool. 

Tune-y Tuesday (wating here for You)

I love a singer who sings with passion and conviction. Christy Nockels has such a powerful voice. I love it. This song is beautiful. I hope you enjoy it this Tune-y Tuesday.

There's this line in it, and it's You we adore, which just makes my heart get excited because Jesus is the ONE I adore. I love Him so much.





If faith can move the mountains
Let the mountains move
We come with expectation
Waiting here for You,
I’m waiting here for You

You’re the Lord of all creation
And still you know my heart
The Author of Salvation
You’ve loved us from the start

Waiting here for You
With our hands lifted high in praise
And it's You we adore
Singing Alleluia

Alleluia

You are everything You’ve promised
Your faithfulness is true
And we're desperate for Your presence
All we need is You

Waiting here for You
With our hands lifted high in praise
And it's You, Lord, we adore
Singing Alleluia

We will sing Alleluia

Singing Alleluia
Alleluia,
We're singing singing Alleluia,
Alleluia
Alleluia

Waiting here for You
With our hands lifted high in praise
And it's You we adore (we adore)
We're singing Alleluia

Waiting here for You
With our hands lifted high in praise
And it's You we adore
We're singing Alleluia

We're singing Alleluia

Waiting here for You
With our hands lifted high in praise
And it's You we adore
(with our lives) We're singing Alleluia

Singing Alleluia

Effective Ministry

 
My chats with my friend Kymberly always happen randomly and they're always refreshing.

On Friday night I messaged her saying are you online? Wanna hang-out?

Did you know how we met? VIA TECHNOLOGY!! Woot Woot!

I love technology! Some of my very favourite bloggers and I have become friends simply due to technology. Sweeeeeet!

Once upon a time, months and months ago, I was following Darling Magazine and tweeted one of their articles. A twitter peep I'd never heard of before (the be.loved blog) followed me. I meandered over to their twitter page and saw that this was a new blog for young women. I saw that they were looking for new writers and decided to apply!

Cue now!

Kymberly is the founder of be.loved. She loves God SOOOOO much! I'm talking so much. I've written for be.loved in the past and Kymberly and I are talking about future collaborations again.

Ohhhhhhh, you wanna read the posts I wrote before? Ohhhh okay! I wrote a break-up series. (Intro, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3) and a post on prayer (here) and I spoke a few words about high school (here).

Anyways, as we were chatting that night via our sweet video friendship (though we have met in real life twice! She came up to Vancouver once for an after noon and I went down to her home for a sleepover once - tres fun peeps), we started talking about our desperate need for Jesus time and how it totally impacts our life.

If we're not looking to Jesus, we're not looking correctly.

Therefore: effective ministry puts Jesus first!

If we're wanting our ministries to grow but we're not handing our ministries to Him, they're probably going to flop.

And honestly, if my ministry isn't for Jesus and about Him, I hope it flops. I don't want anything to be effective if it's missing the Gospel.

I said something like:

God works best when I follow Him.
Much better then when I attempt to lead Him.

Effective ministry looks to Jesus and then looks out.

Amen?

How do you keep Jesus first?

a fall photo walk

I went on a photo walk last week around the pond at my parent's house. (aka it's a pond owned by the city right outside their place)

It was my first little trek out with my new camera but I've got a new found love for photography!

Here are a few shots I took. 
 

Jesus broke all the rules

When I get fearful, confused, unsure, or whatever else I'm feeling,  I (or should I say God) reminds me that Jesus let a prostitute (a woman of the city) cry enough tears to wash His feet.

That blows my mind.

He broke all the rules.

His call is NOT for me to be a good Christian.

His call is for me to love Him with ALL of my heart, soul, mind, and strength.

And then to love people a LOT!

BAM!

  One of the Pharisees asked him to eat with him, and he went into the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table. And behold, a woman of the city, who was a sinner, when she learned that he was reclining at table in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster flask of ointment, and standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head and kissed his feet and anointed them with the ointment. Now when the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner.” And Jesus answering said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” And he answered, “Say it, Teacher.”
    “A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?” Simon answered, “The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt.” And he said to him, “You have judged rightly.” Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.” And he said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” Then those who were at table with him began to say among themselves, “Who is this, who even forgives sins?” And he said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”
(Luke 7:36-50 ESV, emphasis added)  

My church did a sermon a couple weeks ago that punched me in the gut in a really good way, on how the people of the day would make rules about the rules - which is a tendency I often find myself leaning toward. Rules make things easier. Jesus broke rules. Bam Bam Bam! This is the link - it's from November 11th.  

Fearless Abandon

 
My lovely older sister Lynette was in town for a couple weeks. It was really nice to chat life with her. She's the sister whose home I ran away to back in May when I needed a moment of calm before I buckered down to find a summer job. 

(top l-r, row by row) Sister love (with a stroller full of flowers and children), Baking yummy cookies with my special helper, A very cold beach day, Enjoying the flowers with the 6, Picnic time, Stretches after a run, Cuddles with a CUTIE.

I honestly think she's one of the most calm people I've ever met. She is a mom of 6 and she consistently amazes me! She and her kids write in a gratitude journal every single school day - that is something that seems like a great idea to me!

She's the one I call when I'm stressed out of my mind and just need to not talk about it or when I do need to talk about it.

Anyways  . . . while she was here, we were talking one night about trust. 

God has been working with my little heart in the trust area. I'm so quick to stop trusting and I'm super slow at remembering that God is sovereign. (I've even written about my trust issues here, here, and here)

One gains trust by trusting. Akin to a trust fall - you just gotta lean back and trust that the person will catch you.

I'm the youngest of four by a few years. Lynette is 13 years older than me and she told me that as a kid, at youth group (aka when I was like 5 or so) I would join in the trust falls when they did them.

So, this is how a trust fall should work.

Catcher: do you trust me?
Faller: yes.
Catcher: okay, I'm ready, you can fall.
Faller: .......falls....

Or something like that.

Lynette told me that this is how I'd do it as a kid.

Me: I trust you!
FALL
And then the catchers would catch me, regardless of whether they were ready or not.

But that's what true trust in God should look like right?

Fearless abandon.

My heart is working on it. I'm still checking in with God all the time to make sure He's ready (as if He would ever not be though) - but one of these days it'll be back to fearless abandon.

    My son, do not forget my teaching,
        but let your heart keep my commandments,
    for length of days and years of life
        and peace they will add to you.
    Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you;
        bind them around your neck;
        write them on the tablet of your heart.
    So you will find favor and good success
        in the sight of God and man.
    Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
        and do not lean on your own understanding.
    In all your ways acknowledge him,
        and he will make straight your paths.
    Be not wise in your own eyes;
        fear the LORD, and turn away from evil.
    It will be healing to your flesh
        and refreshment to your bones.
(Proverbs 3:1-8 ESV)

True trust simply falls.

Not Seeking Jesus

Tune-y Tuesday (known)

This Tune-y Tuesday, I don't want to waste time with my words. I just want to let you listen to these sweet words and let your heart be reminded that you are known and loved.

Enjoy.




As the dew falls on the blade
You have touched all this fragile frame
And as a mother knows her baby's face
You know me, You know me

As the summer air within my chest
I have breathed You deep down into my breast
And as You know the hairs upon my head
Every thought and every word I've said
Every thought and every word I've said

Savior, You have known me as I am
Healer, You have known me as I was
As I will be in the morning, in the evening
You have known me, yeah, You know me

Oh, and as the exhilaration of autumn's bite
Oh, You have brought these tired bones to brilliant life
And as the swallow knows, she knows the sky
This is how it is with You and I
Oh, this is how it is with You and I

Savior, You have known me as I am
Healer, You have known me as I was
As I will be in the morning, in the evening
You have known me, yeah, You know me

From the fall of my heart to the resurrection of my soul
You know me, God, and You know my ways
In my rising and my sitting down
You see me as I am, oh, see me as I am

And as a lover knows his beloved's heart
All the shapes and curves of her even in the dark
Oh, You have formed me in my inward parts
And You know me, You know me, yes

Savior, You, You have known me as I am
Oh, healer, You have known me as I was
As I will be in the morning, in the evening
You have known

You have known me, in the morning, in the evening
You've known me, God
In the morning, in the evening You have known me
Yeah, You've know me

You have always known me
You know me, God, You have known me
You have always known my heart  



WOW! Do you feel His love for you? Oh sweet friend I pray that you do.

an Optical Illusion

Last weekend we had a baby shower for my sweet baby niece Eliana. She might just be the cutest thing I've ever seen (but only if I'm not counting my other 7 nieces and nephews - mega cute humans come out of my siblings).

I spent more time during the past few weeks either at my sister's or my parent's place to be with family. All of my siblings were home. It was lovely.

It's been a good change of pace. I love my city life but it's nice to go home, to feel like I'm covered on all sides.

I'm in a season of really needing to be covered on all sides. Jesus shows up for me right now in conversations with the people who I know are on my side.

So it was the day of the shower.

I was emotional. Oh man. EMOTIONAL!

I cried with my sisters. They reminded me of where my value comes from, called me out on some stuff (in that super lovingly way that only sisters can), and basically covered me in love and pointed me back to Jesus.

I went to run a quick errand and took an extra long time because I needed to cry more.

See I know I've mentioned it before (a lot), but jealousy is a big sin area for me. 

I'm jealous of anybody who is married and has little children. Well, maybe not everyone. 

And not everyday. But some days man, oh man. 

Hello sin issue. Oh hi.

I need grace always.

I have to go to Jesus constantly and hand control back over to Him. I probably also need to recognize that I never had taken the control. It's all an optical illusion right?

And so I had been doing that.

I pulled my car up to the house and parked the car. I cried one last time, wiped my tears and said " Jesus help me. I need Your help to make it through tonight".

I walked inside, sat down to eat dinner, and long story short(er-ish), my family started to act silly.

Go find your early Christmas gift.

So I did.

And they blessed me huge.


And even now just thinking about it, I'm overwhelmed because when I confess my sin and ask Jesus to help me, my expectation is a small dose of grace - just enough for the moment.

But that's not what grace is. Grace isn't just enough.

I KNOW that His grace covers all but I keep thinking Jesus will switch it up and simply hand me just a little bit or that His grace will end.

I'm NO prosperity gospel person but I do believe that God calls His people to prosper in Him.

My family gave me a gift.
God gave me my family.

I didn't cry for a few more hours.

And the shower was much fun!

 

All in all a success.

Good Conversations

BUZZZZZZZZZZ  . . .

You're here!

I'd run to the door and buzz you into the building.

It's your first time over, so I'd give you directions because new people always go to the wrong door.

I'd run to my mirror, just in case I've made a catastrophic outfit mistake that I'm somehow suddenly going to catch and fix in the fifteen seconds it'll take you to get to my door, and then I'd walk to the front door, open it, and look for ya.

Oh. You missed my door. Typical. I'm over here!

Oh good.

I'd invite you in.



Hi.
Hug.
Welcome. 

I'd walk through the kitchen to get to the living room/family room. I could just go straight through the hallway to get there but for some reason I rarely do that.

You'd make a comment about how big my apartment is.
I'd make a comment about how I know, and that I'm thankful for it.

All comments would be genuine. It is big, I do know, and I am very thankful.


Sorry for the mess.

I'd say the words I'm supposed to say, but I wouldn't really be sorry. I don't mind mess very much. I'd rather live in a lived-in home than any other.
I'd ask you if you wanted coffee or tea. I'm currently working in a tea shop so I might have some fun tea for us to try. But I'd want to make you a nice and strong coffee. I love coffee. A lot.

Oh wait. I forgot. I'm so excited to see you that I forgot that I can offer you sparkling water! Want some?

Once I've finally finished fussing around (I do that until I'm ready to settle into a conversation), we'd chat.

Well I would have been talking this whole time probably. I do that.

You'd ask me how I am. I'd avoid the question because I'm not sure if I'm ready to be honest with you quite yet. I'd kindly (and probably not as subtly as I wish) turn it back to you. How are you?

I'd ask about your job, your home, your family, your boy (if you've got one), your kids (if you've got them), cover all the bases, and I'd see how your faith is.

Conversation is getting real sister.

Depending on if you know me well, or if you read me well, you'd have caught on that I've only shared minor fluff so far.

I've been getting good at this technique lately, so I might make it through without you noticing.

I'd mention all the positives.

And just like in real life, I'd avoid the tough stuff unless you ask.

So make sure you ask okay?

Just be aware that I'm learning to read people better. I won't tell you my fears and dreams unless you seem to want to care for me in the long-run.

So make sure you ask and mean it okay?

Okay.

Too many people have hurt me after I've been honest so I've been slowly building up new guards. This is a new thing for me. I used to just share anything with nearly anybody. I've getting more and more selective. I don't know if it's all bad but I don't think that it's all good either.

Almost for sure while you talked, I would have found a book on my shelf that might suit whatever you're going through.

I would have made a mental note to send you a card in the mail to encourage you about that thing you're going through.

And I'd definitely have prayed for you. There's little better than approaching Jesus for you.

We'd chit-chat. I'd forget to offer a refill.

Maybe you'd mention that my couch is comfy. Because it is.

You'd probably stay longer than you intended to.
Which is always fine here.
Good conversations shouldn't have endings.

I often pray that I can offer a space that is welcome to the person who needs it.

I'd walk you to the door.
I'd hug you for sure - even if you're not a hugger.

I'm so glad you came over today. It was so lovely to have you. 

Come again please.
Please please please.
Love you sweet friend.

P.S. Video chats with other bloggers is quickly becoming a favourite thing for me. I've had three in the past week. Two were long planned, and one was spontaneous. Wanna chat? Shoot me an email at asecondaryheartbeat (at) gmail (dot) com or tweet me @nadinewouldsay. Let's chat sister.

P.P.S. I can almost promise that I switched tenses while I wrote this. Just in case you're critiquing my grammar. xoxo

The Story (of an apple)

I'm linking up with the oh-so-lovely Ashley of Pencilled Daydream today. Go read some stories people!

Once upon a time, months and months ago, a letter-key fell off of my MacBook. *tear*

 I hopped on over to my nearest Apple store and was pleasantly surprised when the response was "yes we'll fix it and how about you leave it here and we'll fix it up and remove all these scratches". YES please and thank-you.

The guy helping me pleasantly suggested I buy a external hard drive. He asked me if I'd rather spend a small amount now or a big amount someday when my computer would eventually crash.
 
The thought made sense.

I backed up my computer that day.

Then again a few months later.

And then all of a sudden last week I decided that I should back it up again.

So I did.

AND THAT night my computer crashed.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!

*tear*tear*tear*

I took it into an Apple store and the guy was sure it'd be a quick and easy fix at a lovely and low fee.

I agreed but started preparing myself for the option that my sweet Gordan (the name of that 'ol laptop) might not be coming home the same way I'd known him before.

So when I got a phone call from Apple telling me that it would cost a more than I had hoped to pay for a quick-fix, I had to bite the bullet and ask my (best-ever-most-incredible) parents for a loan in order to buy a new computer.


They are gracious and kind people. I'm very thankful for them.
 
And yesterday it arrived! 

Shiny and pretty and lovely and WOW!

 And I turned it on, plugged in my external hard drive and just over an hour later had a fully functioning MacBook Air - complete with everything I needed from my old laptop.

And the moral of the story is:

Go buy an external hard drive right now and then use it right away!


Because that is the only way your heart won't break when your computer dies.

 

The End



some more thoughts:

A week without a computer was hard.

 I stayed in Abby an extra night and day to make a scheduled video chat (and to spend more time with the fam).
 

I meandered over to visit my sister, her sweet baby, and her laptop.

I also got convicted like ten trizillion times . . . And yep, I think my computer is an idol in my life. Jesus and I are having some chats about that.
It was a week when I was thankful that blogger allows me to schedule posts (aka Thursday/Friday/Tuesday/Wednesday) And frustrated that I messed up a scheduled post to go out at 2pm instead of 2am.

It made me read more, scratch that, accomplish more Kakuru (my favourite go-to - I'm serious. I LOVE it), go for a photo-taking walk (photos to come), and be intentional and send out some mail.

Speaking of mail, I'm thinking about a very fun link-up that includes mail. Stick around these here parts to hear more!

Not Quite There Yet (meet-up)

Check this out alright? Okay!

BIBLE BASED LIVING: Joy and Suffering

A while ago, God brought to mind a passage that He wove deep into my heart a few years ago.

    He sent and had John beheaded in the prison, and his head was brought on a platter and given to the girl, and she brought it to her mother. And his disciples came and took the body and buried it, and they went and told Jesus.
    Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a desolate place by himself. But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns. When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick.
(Matthew 14:10-14 ESV)

This is one of my most favourite passages of scripture. It helps me understand Jesus more than any other piece of scripture. Sometimes I can't wrap my mind around Jesus (and I'm pretty sure if I ever claim to have wrapped my mind all around Jesus and claim complete understanding that I will have completely failed at understanding Him at all) because Jesus live a perfect life. It's hard to me to understand His perfection because I am not perfect a all. I sin all the time; I forget to love people, I get angry without just reason, I get annoyed and react with impatience, and more than any other sin, I get selfish.

Jesus never did any of these things. Whoa.

But Jesus did mourn. In the scripture above it share that He withdrew to a desolate place. Desolate is defined as "devoid of warmth, comfort, or hope" and similar words in the dictionary paint it as "barren", "lonely", "dreary". It is the opposite of heart-warming. Jesus was going there. He made the choice to go there.

He had just heard of the death of John. John mattered to Jesus. Jesus was sad. He needed to get away. He needed to mourn, and so He went to do so. He left on a boat to a place that would be dreary. 


I've had moments in many seasons of life where I have desperately needed to go to a place that is dreary and just be sad. To be sorrowful and mourn in order to eventually be joyful and filled with hope.


As Jesus arrived at this place, where He was hoping to just get a minute to Himself, He was met by crowds. Crowds who needed Him, their Saviour.

And so He healed them. Because of His compassion.

Jesus loved people. He still does. Jesus loves people. He loves you.

As the Lord brought this passage to mind, I felt like Jesus told me that I am called to a higher purpose, which is to glorify Him. I need to fill my heart with compassion and lean on His strength which is indescribable. I am called to witness, to love, to forgive, and to make Jesus known everywhere.

My sister told me once that oftentimes we like to separate joy and suffering. We don't think that they can be together. But they can be together. Jesus shows us that. We can be in seasons of sorrow while still fully living out His joy.

So, I'm kneeling at the foot of the cross, casting my burdens down (repeatedly, admittedly), and I'm passionately pursuing Jesus.

Tune-y Tuesday (why)

Certain songs take me back. I remember when Bethany Dillon released her first album. I was in high school, trying to sort out life, and desperately in love with Jesus. He was the only thing I knew to be constant and true. When Bethany released her album, every word resonated with my little heart.

Whenever this song comes on these days, I remember sitting at my piano plunking this song out.

It is amazing to me that she was able to write such powerful and incredible lyrics as a teenager. There words still impact me now so I wanted to share them this Tune-y Tuesday.

It's easy for me to forget about God. It's easy for me to live a lot of days in a row without going to Him. It's super easy for me to sin.

Yet the grace and mercy of Jesus cover me each day. WOW! Talk about unmerited and undeserved.




This house is echoing
With the sound of You knocking at the door
But with three locks
And the shades down
You are easy to ignore
I've put You on like an old pair of shoes
I've put You off, but now I need You

Why, this love that never leaves me
Why are You holding me tonight
Can't deny this love that is given me
Why, this love never leaves

You're a good strategy when I need one
An angle when there is none
Like a doormat
That always says welcome
No matter how much dirt I rub on
But when I am tired and run through
Look over this hill, I'm running to You

Why, this love that never leaves me
Why are You holding me tonight
Can't deny this love that is given me
Why, this love never



Why, this love that never leaves me
Why are You holding me tonight
Can't deny this love that is given me
Why,

Oh why?

Why are You holding me, You're holding me tonight

Can't deny this love that is given me

Why, this love never leaves

Journals of Yesterday

I was reading recently through a journal from a few years ago, and was overwhelmed by some of the words that I'd written. 

Words like:

"I just can't seem to find hope or peace anymore." and "I know what I need to do to be happy, but I just feel so captive and unable to get there".

When I see where I was, and see where I've been brought to through the reconciliation of the cross in my life, I realize that God is so powerful. 

Jesus changed everything.

I'm not happier now.

Happy is the wrong word.

I have His peace.

I have His joy.

I have His hope.

It's all Jesus.

He saved me.

My joy is based on Him.

    Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
(Philippians 4:4-7 ESV) 

BIBLE BASED LIVING: a Growing List

One of my favourite things about scripture is that it always shows me how I’m supposed to live.

If I need to know how I’m supposed to speak I can look at how Jesus spoke to people and I can read verse after verse about speech..

If I want to know how to fast, I can look at what Jesus said.

If I don’t quite understand what it means to forgive, I can follow the example Jesus shared.

And the list goes on . . .

There are tons of ways that I can look into the Bible and see exactly how God wants me to live my life. It’s not moralistic or legalistic. I'm motivated by my genuine and passionate, sincere and growing, deep and real, love for Christ.

Seeing

I've been trying to evaluate how I see God.

Do I see Him as a god with a scepter?
Inflicting control.

Or do I see God as a shepherd with a staff?
A shepherd who does everything He does so that the sheep are safe.
And sometimes that means pushing them.

I want to see Him correctly.
And in order to see God correctly I need to look to His word.

And in that word I find Him.



Never as a god holding a magic wand.


Always as the One True God, orchestrating all things to work together for my good and His glory.

Befriending Creativity

So I've definitely become good friends with pixlr lately. I've got lots to learn but it's also lots of fun to be taking images I've taken and creating little pieces of art.

Tune-y Tuesday (find You on my knees)

I think most people have certain people that always point them to certain things. For me, Kari Jobe is a singer who constantly points me to Jesus and reminds my heart of the truth it already knows.

I love this song. I think I love it because it reminds me that God doesn't call me to strength. He calls me to go to Him. It's a pretty simple call for this simple heart.

Tune-y Tuesday is sticking around folks. It's just too much fun to leave behind.

Listen to these sweet words and let the Spirit of God fill up your thirsty soul with the only thing that will ever satisfy - Himself.








Troubles chasing me again,
Breaking down my best defense,
I'm looking, God, I'm looking for You
Weary just won't let me rest, 
and fear is filling up my head.
I'm longing, God I'm longing for You

But I will find You in the place I'm in, 
Find You when I'm at my end,
Find You when there's nothing left of me to offer You except for brokenness.
You lift me up, You never leave me thirsty,
When I am weak, when I am lost and searching
I'll find You on my knees.

So what if sorrow shakes my faith,
and what if heartache still remains,
I'll trust You, my God I'll trust You.
Cause You are faithful

And I will find You in the place I'm in, 
Find You when I'm at my end,
Find You when there's nothing left of me to offer You except for brokenness.
You lift me up, You never leave me thirsty,
When I am weak, when I am lost and searching
Find You on my knees, my knees.

When my hope is gone, 
When the fear is strong
When the pain is real, 
When it's hard to heal
When my faith is shaken 
And my heart is broken 
And my joy is stolen,

God I know that

You lift me up, You never leave me thirsty

Find You in the place I'm in, find You when I'm at my end,
Find You when there's nothing left of me to offer You except for brokenness.
You lift me up, You never leave me thirsty,
When I am weak, when I am lost and searching
I'll find You on my knees

Grace Wrecks Me

Sometimes I want to go up to Jesus and just say some stuff.

how dare YOU use me? 
I'm useless.
I'm a sinner.
I'm a WRECK!
YOU are making a huge mistake in using me.

And then grace wrecks me even more.

Because Jesus loves me and uses me still.

Jesus loves me.
WOW!