31 January 2013

{a walk through} psalm 10


Starting January 2013, I decided to take a little step into a semi big blog commitment. I'm going to walk through the Psalms on my blog. Until the book is done, I'll post a verse or two in a photo every single Tuesday and Thursday. The heart of this series is for me to be looking into the word and being intentional to post HIS words here. Sometimes it'll just be the one photo as a blog post, sometimes I'll share what the words in the verse meant to me as I read it, and sometimes I'll have a post going on that day that speaks of other things. Thanks for joining me in this Psalm walk through.

I had beautiful intentions of writing a lovely and inspiring post about different charities that are supporting the afflicted.

But you know what? I'm soooooo tired. I'm still definitely getting used to being back at work and also having a life outside of that. How does everybody do it so graciously?

Tiredness aside, I love this verse today.

30 January 2013

what's in a name?


 Someone recently commented on how my blog name probably has to do with the fact that this blog is like a second heartbeat. In a sense it does, simply given the amount of hours I hang out here, but I wanted to write some more words sharing the why behind why I am here.

I never want to forget WHAT I'm writing for, WHO I'm writing for, and WHY oh why I spend much of my leisure time typing and praying for this space.

More words will be coming.
But one place my words start are in verses like that above.

I've got lots of sin that would happily fill my leisure time.
I'm rather be faithful to Jesus and share the truth I'm learning.

29 January 2013

{a walk through} psalm 9


Starting January 2013, I decided to take a little step into a semi big blog commitment. I'm going to walk through the Psalms on my blog. Until the book is done, I'll post a verse or two in a photo every single Tuesday and Thursday. The heart of this series is for me to be looking into the word and being intentional to post HIS words here. Sometimes it'll just be the one photo as a blog post, sometimes I'll share what the words in the verse meant to me as I read it, and sometimes I'll have a post going on that day that speaks of other things. Thanks for joining me in this Psalm walk through.

I don't want to add to this verse today so I'm not going to! Just read it over and over and over and over okay and rest in this beautiful truth.

28 January 2013

acknowledging my people




I want to write about some girls whom I love with a whole lot of my heart. On Saturday, I went for brunch with them. I hadn't seen them all together in far too long.

These girls, they're my hometown people. I moved away almost 3 years ago and they are the four girls I keep in touch with the most from home. I love them a lot.

You know that old Jesse McCartney song, they're each the girl he is singing about. They've each got a beautiful soul. 

Two of them I've known since elementary, and the other two I met one summer at camp when we were in the same cabin. We all went to the same high school and all because good friends when we worked at that same camp. I'd say our friendships have all grown since high school. We're far more confident in ourselves now and aren't trying to please a hundred other people any more walking down hallways. We can just be ourselves.

These girls love Jesus. That's their best quality. I can honestly claim these verse for each of them.



One of them, Kirstyn, is one of my dearest friends. This past year we haven't hung out nearly as often as we should have, but she is one person whom I know that at all times, she is on my side. I know she'll be praying for me. I know she'll check in if it's been too long. I know that because I do the same.

She moved to London last week on Tuesday and I am (so very sad for myself to lose her!) so very excited for her adventure! We've had a lot of adventures in our time and I look forward to years more of them, even if they'll have to include one of us crossing an ocean.

Kirsty-loo-hoo - I miss you already! Have a great time.



25 January 2013

I act awkward so that others look good

Well.

It's that time of the month.

No! NOT THE TIME! Gross. That is not what this blog is about.

It's the time to share a video and link it up with other bloggers. Because just like last month, you didn't ask for it, but I still provided it.

5ohwifey

I filmed it last night after spending the majority of the day lying in bed trying to fight this cold/flu/thing I can't seem to kick. I am so ready to feel healthy!

So. Here it is.





Have a lovely day!
You're welcome that I'm an awkward soul.

I think I spoke far too fast and far too quiet, which was NOT the goal. Next month I'll be better guys!

Also. That was probably take 7 or 8. Last month I used my first take because it was just fun to do so. This month, I think it was maybe because I was feeling sick, but I just kept blubbing over my words and saying dumb things. I'm sure I said dumb things in this version (or sang them . . . that was weird right?) but maybe it had less odd moments than the other takes.

ALSO. You're lovely. Thanks for stopping by.

24 January 2013

{a walk through} psalm 8


Starting January 2013, I decided to take a little step into a semi big blog commitment. I'm going to walk through the Psalms on my blog. Until the book is done, I'll post a verse or two in a photo every single Tuesday and Thursday. The heart of this series is for me to be looking into the word and being intentional to post HIS words here. Sometimes it'll just be the one photo as a blog post, sometimes I'll share what the words in the verse meant to me as I read it, and sometimes I'll have a post going on that day that speaks of other things. Thanks for joining me in this Psalm walk through.

God is mindful.
Of me.
Of you.
Of everyone.

That is enough to stop me in my tracks and bring up my humble card.

Only 8 posts into this million year series, I already sense a theme of God to my heart. Slow. Rest. Love.

Writing this, I just want to rest and wait for a second, and let my heart be loved by my precious Saviour Jesus Christ.

So I will. Won't you too?

23 January 2013

made alive


There is a song that I have been practically living on since it was released last week. It's not yet on ITunes (which is too bad because I would have bought it immediately) but it's on soundcloud. I've put a link here and I think you should click it, turn it on, and listen while you read. Because I'm listening to it while I write and I am loving it so very much! It's called "Made Alive" by Citizens, a band out of Mars Hill. I can't wait for our worship team to fall in love with it and play it at church!

So I was already listening to that song when I opened this post to write it. As I write this, it's not this day that you're reading. It's Saturday and I'm enjoying a blogging afternoon. My goal is to finish all of my images for the walk through series for the month of February today! Big goal with a lot of grace in case it doesn't happen. (I did not accomplish that goal but I did get a lot of blog stuff done)

Oh gosh. There is a line in this song that just sticks out in my heart. I heard it the first time listening and it's my favourite line now.

If ever I forget my true identity, show me who I am, and help me to believe.

Wowza! That line is so incredible to me. I want to tweet it everywhere.

One thing I do often, and I'm pretty sure I've written about it here before, is to repeat truth to myself. I struggle a lot with fear of other people and what they think, and I've written much about my sin issues in comparison, jealousy, and well, all my other sin issues. (man oh man, so very many sin issues - thank you JESUS for YOURSELF!)

Sooooo. I repeat truth. But the only way to know truth is to learn it. And the best way to learn truth is so see it often. And thebest  place to see truth is in the Scriptures. It's such a beautiful thing that the Lord has done. He has offered us a place that we can physically go to (the Bible), to be filled up. We can learn about who He is and who we are and all the stuff in between.

It truly is beautiful.

So. If you still didn't listen to that song - go now! It's GOLDEN!

22 January 2013

{a walk through} psalm 7


Starting January 2013, I decided to take a little step into a semi big blog commitment. I'm going to walk through the Psalms on my blog. Until the book is done, I'll post a verse or two in a photo every single Tuesday and Thursday. The heart of this series is for me to be looking into the word and being intentional to post HIS words here. Sometimes it'll just be the one photo as a blog post, sometimes I'll share what the words in the verse meant to me as I read it, and sometimes I'll have a post going on that day that speaks of other things. Thanks for joining me in this Psalm walk through.

It's week three of this forever and a year walk through! It's a funny thing for me, to have committed to something so very long. In one song that I wrote a while ago, I started it by saying I'm a perfect 10 at fading away because seriously - long term is long!


This verse today reminds me of my true identity. It is in Christ. The Lord is my shield. That is where I am safe. I've actually got more words about identity ready to be shared tomorrow. It's something I've been reflecting on a lot lately and really trying to put into action in my heart. Rooting my identity in Christ. Loving the Scriptures. Praying continually.

I want to be upright in heart. I want to meet Jesus and not feel shame for the way my heart expressed itself. I want my heart to love greatly, forgive quickly, and for Christ to be the direction my heart is orientated, if that makes any sense at all.

Also. I think this graphic might just be my favourite that I've made. It's just so pretty! You're always welcome to pin the stuff I put up here. I know that's obvious to say, but just in case you weren't sure - do it if you like it.

21 January 2013

The time I told my story



Something I wrote was published over on Good Woman Project, which is pretty cool. It's a letter to my 13 year old self.

This letter has seemed to strike a chord with a lot of people.

I submitted it in November but actually wrote it back in July. I can't remember the reason exactly, but I was sitting at my parent's house in my old room and I decided to read through an old journal. I read one and then I slowly poured through my old journals one by one.

My heart broke. It broke.

The girl I was when I wrote those words is so very different than who I am now.

The issues I struggled with then are the issues I struggle with now, but now I lean on Jesus. I no longer have to look to people for acceptance.  

I look to the cross and find my hope.

Most of the bullying that I experienced as a child was actually younger than 13. From about grade 3-7 I was tormented by some girls. I've forgiven them now. It took me a long time but I can recognize now that they were hurting too, just in different ways. The bullying became far less obvious in high school, but up until I was out of high school, I never felt accepted for who I was, I never felt heard in what I spoke, and I rarely felt as though anyone truly cared.

Sometimes I look back on myself and feel like maybe I was just being dramatic. Maybe things weren't so bad. And maybe they weren't. But regardless, the emotions I felt as a young teen were real and huge and they hurt.

I think it was about a year ago, or maybe even longer ago that I was talking to my Mom about those days. I had never really realized that she was aware of it. I never knew that the teachers were calling home and trying to find solutions. I honestly thought I was alone back then. My friends were my teachers. My Mom said something along the lines of the teachers didn't understand why none of your classmates liked you since you were the kindest and sweetest girl they had taught. There is obviously a mother's emphasis in that but even at a young age I had a soul that loved people. I loved encouraging and being kind. I still do. And for some reason the other kids didn't like me back.

I want to be wise with this story. I also don't want to hide it anymore. I haven't written much about it before and even writing that letter in the first place was a big step towards forgiveness.

I've learnt, both in that letter, and over the past couple years as I've started opening up about my sin to people instead of pretending to be just fine and dandy, that a told story is far better than an untold one.

That's obvious though, I think.

Like I said up top (cue high five), this letter has seemed to strike a chord with a lot of people. I've received messages and had people tell me that my words made them cry. People have called me brave. People have said that they completely understand what I went through because they went through the same thing. 

Again, I want to be wise in what I write on this subject. I don't understand why it is that so many people can relate to that story. Why oh why are girls oh so very mean? Seriously! Why? What are we doing as a western culture that ingrains something in girls that causes them to choose targeted people and treat them with cruelty?

I know that the main answer is that we live in a fallen world. I get that. 

Yet there has got to be something that we can start doing.

One thing I would suggest, to anybody walking alongside someone going through bullying, is to love them so very much. And again, I know that is obvious. But seriously. One might never know the impact, but kindness matters. Like I wrote in the letter, I've blurred enough of the memories to forget which girls exactly said and wrote what. I haven't however forgotten which ones were kind and gracious throughout everything.

If I could go back, and I mean this with sincerity, I wouldn't change my story. I wouldn't change what happened. The brokenness that I experienced led me to the wholeness that I know now.

I know it in Jesus.

I don't speak of Jesus as a platitude. I speak of Jesus with sincerity, genuineness, and with a deep deep awe of who He is.

Jesus understands exclusion.
Jesus understands unkind words.
Jesus understands being let down by people you trust.
Jesus understands pain.
Jesus understands.
    Surely he has borne our griefs
        and carried our sorrows;
    yet we esteemed him stricken,
        smitten by God, and afflicted.
    But he was pierced for our transgressions;
        he was crushed for our iniquities;
    upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,
        and with his wounds we are healed.
    All we like sheep have gone astray;
        we have turned—every one—to his own way;
    and the LORD has laid on him
        the iniquity of us all.
(Isaiah 53:4-6)

Here's a small piece of the letter:
Dear 13,
I met you again recently.

I was visiting at my parents and happened to grab an old journal off of my bookshelf in my old room. I figured I would just look at one entry but soon found myself scanning the entire thing and then moving onto more journals.

Oh 13, you were so sad. You were so lonely. You were so broken. You were trying to figure out how to please God, but you kept thinking that if you worked hard enough He would show up.


If you missed the link at the top, here is the link.

I want to give a solution to the problem.
But I can't.

The solutions is found at the foot of the cross.

When we look up at Jesus, dying on the cross, a sinless man who literally carried all of the sin on the world, then we can suddenly find the acceptance that we will never ever ever ever ever find anywhere else.

18 January 2013

a glimpse into family time

When my sister Kirsten had her daughter this past fall, my other siblings Lynette and Greg came out for a visit. Lynette brought along her youngest son and Greg brought his wife Danielle and son. I wasn't able to be there the entire time (everybody was hanging out at my parent's place) but I drove out whenever I could.

Lots of tickles.
Lots of giggles.
Lots of good times.
Here's a quick glimpse.






I'm linking up with Andie of Hollie Rogue for her weekly Tell Your Story link-up because each of these pictures tell stories. Stories of holding one another close, laughing more than necessary, funny shirts, silly tutu's, making time to pose as a family, and just generally - they all demonstrate love.


17 January 2013

{a walk through} psalm 6


Starting January 2013, I decided to take a little step into a semi big blog commitment. I'm going to walk through the Psalms on my blog. Until the book is done, I'll post a verse or two in a photo every single Tuesday and Thursday. The heart of this series is for me to be looking into the word and being intentional to post HIS words here. Sometimes it'll just be the one photo as a blog post, sometimes I'll share what the words in the verse meant to me as I read it, and sometimes I'll have a post going on that day that speaks of other things. Thanks for joining me in this Psalm walk through.

One of the things that I love about reading through each Psalm, is that even when the writer is feeling in the depths of sorrow, they know that the Lord hears them.

Over these past months, I have felt near sorrow a lot, but I have consistently felt that God is hearing me and that He accepts my prayers.

It's amazing to serve a God who hears.

This week is incredible and exhausting, beautiful and overwhelming. It's a lot of things.

God hears.

16 January 2013

moving forward with feedback



On Monday, I shared a post called unequal eggs.

After I posted this, I had a lot of feedback. Most was good and encouraging, and it's a post that has garnered more views than normal. It's fast catching up with my other post last week called until tomorrow.

One piece of feedback asked me to consider my words. It didn't come in the form of an anonymous comment or mean spirited words, but wise caution and advice.

The lovely friend who did so is one who I admire and trust much. She has a story that is beautiful, because her husband dated her when she did not love Jesus. So to her, this idea comes with an entirely different view.

She and I have been spending a little bit of time writing back and forth today, talking about it, and I've been praying and trying to ask God what to do. Do I delete my words? Are they wrong? Or do they something added? Or taken away? Or WHAT oh what shall I do?

But I don't feel as though I should take it down. That post shares my story. It's so true to me. I do though, want to add to it.

Because my story is mine.
And your story is yours.
The only unifying thing in our stories is that we are both sinners and God is God.

So I want to share a bit of what I wrote to her. Here's an excerpt:

I never want to make a statement that hurts. I think for me, God has led me to a place of not dating someone who doesn't love Him, and I made bad decisions when I was dating the guy.
I've been thinking too, and I think that for me, in that relationship, it wasn't redemptive, and I wasn't even caring if he became a Christian.
That's where my heart was when I dated a non-Christian. I wasn't living for Jesus and I honestly didn't care if he was. I was satisfying my flesh. The entire time I walked away from Jesus (and I can say this confidently looking back), I was attempting to satisfy myself. I was (and honestly, I still am) so very selfish and I wanted to be served. I had needs (in my mind) and I wanted them met!

If you have read the post from Monday, or are about to read it, don't just hear a DON'T DO attitude, but more a, what has God called you to do and what has God called you to walk away from? If you're in a relationship with someone who doesn't love Jesus, are they pushing you towards God or away? And regardless of what that answer is, are you okay with what is happening?

If you've noticed certain shifts in your heart away from God, how does that make you feel?

My sweet friend shared these words:

I'm pretty sure that if you're speaking to someone who is in love with a non Christian and you tell her basically to "get out now" -- well that's not going to be received well. But if you help her to a place where she can seek God on her own terms, that might more likely happen and God will meet her there.

Also, I think inspiring questions like "what things in your life have you put this person before? Had the relationship become an idol in your life? How's your prayer life? Are you still going to church? Are you able to have discussions about your faith with this person? Does being with this person make you reject God? Are you honoring God in the times you are alone with this person?" Just questions that would make them look into their owns lives instead of at yours and say, "well I'm okay cause we're not like that."
Look at her wisdom. I do love her.

And I shared with her, and I'll share now - I think the way I would approach a real life relationship and how I write on my blog is different. In real life, I can see someone. I can walk life with them and hear them. I can see who they spend time with. I can build a relationship that is kind.

It's a lot harder when I type words and hit publish and pray that my words impact well.

I can never make decisions for you. I'd love to. I'd love to hop up into the God chair and just decide what is correct and what is not, but more so, I'd love if everybody loved Jesus and lived as He calls us to.

So if you read my words, both today, the other day, and any day, and feel hurt by what I say, please see something I also shared with my dear friend:
I'm so thankful that God saved you, and I do believe He can redeem anything. I also think we need to be faithful to listen to Him and obey, but it can get so messy and complicated, especially since there are stories in scripture of people marrying people of other cultures/religions because God told them to, because He typically told them not too.
K. I so hear your wisdom in this, and I would put it into practice in a real life relationship, and I'll try to choose wisely how I start the things I share.
I don't want to offend, but I also am not okay with people being comfortable in their sin, and I've prayed so much about these things I've been posting, that I'll be wise and bold and courageous. I want/need to pray that I am also kind because God is so kind.
I always want to be kind.
I always want to share truth.
Mostly, I want Jesus to work in my heart and your heart and everyone's hearts. 
It's only when we encounter Jesus that our hearts can move within God's will.

So know this. I love you. Even though I don't know you.
I pray for you often. Almost every single day.
My prayer is always that God will get glory and that hearts will hear His truth in what I write.

So yeah. I love you.


update: I'm not planning to take it down. I just wanted to respond to what had been told to me, and what sat on my heart today. xoxo

15 January 2013

{a walk through} psalm 5


Starting January 2013, I decided to take a little step into a semi big blog commitment. I'm going to walk through the Psalms on my blog. Until the book is done, I'll post a verse or two in a photo every single Tuesday and Thursday. The heart of this series is for me to be looking into the word and being intentional to post HIS words here. Sometimes it'll just be the one photo as a blog post, sometimes I'll share what the words in the verse meant to me as I read it, and sometimes I'll have a post going on that day that speaks of other things. Thanks for joining me in this Psalm walk through.

Last week I was jobless.
And I started confidently saying that next week I hope to have a job.
And I prayed for daily bread like Jesus has taught me to, but I also boldly asked God to provide something soon.
And yesterday, I started a new job!

My refuge is in the Lord.
I rejoice in HIM!
I can sing for joy, not only because He has provided, but because I trust in His promises!
I cover myself with His protection because I can not take comfort in anything else.
I love His name.
I love it so very much.

In fact, I was reflecting on the fact that the name of Jesus is so comforting to me. It's so comforting to say it aloud. Like, if Jesus' name was say, Jake, it wouldn't be quite so comforting. There's something even in the name of Jesus spoken aloud that brings joy to my soul.

One definition of exalt is "to praise". I praise the Lord for who He is, for what He has done and is doing, and I praise Him because He is God.

Wow Wow Wow!

Can we take a second to just praise JESUS?

Cool.

What scripture is speaking to your heart today? What are you reflecting on?

14 January 2013

unequal eggs


Let's talk about something. K? Cool.

It's the thing that legitimately  propelled me both out of my faith and back into it, both at the same moment and also a year after I committed it, and even now as I reflect on it. WHOA.

It's that SUPER odd Christian thing about the unequal eggs. You know what I mean right? Unequally yoked.

Don't date a non-Christian.
It's bad.
End of story.
Nobody (at least when I was younger, when I was struggling with it, or even very often now) taking time to unpack the Gospel wisdom of why not, and the heart of what we're called to.


. . .

oh. No. That's not the end of the post. This isn't a rant about how I think the idea is wrong.

I think the idea is right. But only because I spent time not believing it and fighting it.

It's that I spent the first 19 years of my life knowing that it was wrong but never knowing any reason.

So. I'm going to try to unpack the Gospel wisdom of this idea.

. . .


Unequal eggs.

So is that like one yoke is bigger? Or like different coloured? Or . . . ?


I watched a sermon once and in it, the pastor shed light on this topic. And it BLEW my mind.

Because for one, I already knew what he meant. As in, I'd seen it in practice in my own life.

He said something along the lines of:

The reason we don't date people who believe differently is because neither will fully accept the other.

Like, what?

Read that idea again.

A relationship NOT built on full acceptance will never be correct.
Because it can't be.
Even if the person really cares for you, and you really care for the, both of you will be wanting the other to change. You'll always be praying that they'll become a Christian (aka not accepting them) and they'll probably hope that one of these Sunday mornings you'll just stay home with them.

I met a guy while I was questioning my faith and not living for Jesus. He didn't love Jesus, and looking at how my life was lived in that season, neither did I.

We met in a club.
I headed home with him.
As we waited for the bus I said, while fully intoxicated, "but we can't have sex cause I'm a Christian".

And God has grace that for some reason kept me safe.
And sent me home with a guy who somehow honoured that request.

But of course we didn't last.
We tried. We made it work for a month or so where I would drive up to where he lived, or we'd meet in the city that was in the middle, and each time Jesus protected me.  

((( the story is a lot longer and more complicated than all of that, but that's the gist I'm sharing today )))


I never understand grace because it is so much bigger than I can ever even hope for.

But, like I said, we didn't last. While he respected my belief system and thought it was great, he didn't accept the things I believed.

And though I really wasn't living for God, I still knew God's truths deep within my heart.

A year later was about the time that I actually gave my life back to Jesus.

In February, it'll have been 3 years since I gave my life back to Jesus and I now get what that pastor was saying.

This guy was a miracle in that he respected me, but I still made sexual decisions in that relationship, and in the ones that followed over that year while I floundered around not knowing what to believe, that impact me even to today.

I had a guy not date me because I had a past. His attitude towards my sins, my fully forgiven by a Jesus who never offers condemnation to those who call upon His name, taught me that my sins put me in a category called "dirty" and for a very long time I thought I would probably only be able to date/marry someone who had as dirty of sexual sins as I, or who had "worse" ones.

And reading these words that only recently I've been freed from, I shudder because so many people feel this way too.

Both those who have given away and/or lost parts of their purity and feel dirty.
And then those who don't have sexual sins in this past and have therefore decided that their lack of sexual sin makes them better.

I really believe that that is another form of unequally yoked. The person who is only willing to be given a "pure" person.

Or who has been taught that their sin makes them only available to same/worse sinners.

Gross!!!
I'm SERIOUS!

Haven't we figured out that we all suck?


Does every newscast filled with more horror, and every sorrow that plagues our world not show us?
And while my sexual sins are long past, my sins of complacency, jealousy, and fear all compromise my purity.

I'M the worst sinner.
Me.
I'm the one who deserves Hell.

But grace redeems.


The grace of Jesus alone.
Jesus lived a perfect life. NO sin. Not at all.
And He was hated. And killed. In the most brutal way.
And then He rose from the dead.
And because of that, even me, even you, we're redeemed when we call upon the name of Jesus.

So.
What now?




Who are we to be yoked with?

Someone who has been transformed by the Gospel is the one to look for.
And not only to look for, but is the one to be.

And honestly, and I'm speaking to my single (and those dating/engaged) female friends - it's not worth it to date the ones who don't love Jesus.

It's easier to date non-Christians because sometimes we get tired of waiting for these silly Christian boys to get their act together (and to stop playing video games) and to ask us out (and actually pay for a date) - but we have got to trust that God's desire for our life is better than our wish for some dude.

Because only Jesus satisfies.

So someone finding satisfaction in anything other than Jesus is just plain 'ol not right for our sweet and sinful hearts.

Wait for the one who loves you and recognizes a redeemed soul when he sees one.
And who also, whether his sin "level" matches (ugh, even writing that out makes me want to shower because it's so dirty of a thinking process) yours or not, considers himself the worst of all sinners.


We all need Jesus.
We are all broken.
Never forget that.


Jesus forgives.

Live in that joyful truth.

11 January 2013

Worn By: Me (a yellow cardigan)



You're welcome for this next photo. I wanted you to feel very good about your beauty. If I can post photos with a face that ridiculous and a pose that awkward . . . you're beautiful. That's all.





Anybody else have those pieces in their wardrobe that aren't necessarily still in style and that don't necessarily still look good on, yet still remain.

This is how I feel about this yellow cardigan.

It is so comfortable. And it's so long. I love long tops. Seriously. love.

I also love wine. (p.s. to my sweet accountability friends, this picture is from December. I'm holding fast to my no-alcohol-January)






10 January 2013

{a walk through} psalm 4


Starting January 2013, I decided to take a little step into a semi big blog commitment. I'm going to walk through the Psalms on my blog. Until the book is done, I'll post a verse or two in a photo every single Tuesday and Thursday. The heart of this series is for me to be looking into the word and being intentional to post HIS words here. Sometimes it'll just be the one photo as a blog post, sometimes I'll share what the words in the verse meant to me as I read it, and sometimes I'll have a post going on that day that speaks of other things. Thanks for joining me in this Psalm walk through.


I shared a little bit about this verse over at the be.loved blog last year. The link is here. I'd love if you popped over there today to read that post and spend some time exploring that site. I'm no longer involved in writing but I am good friends with Kymberly, the lovely girl who started the site, and her heart is SO FOR JESUS. It's a site worth exploring.

09 January 2013

BIBLE BASED LIVING: rise up and walk

So often as Christians we preach a "don't do" message.

Jesus did give "do's" and "don't's" but it sure looks to me like often, he said "your sins are forgiven. Rise up and walk".

On one of those days, as he was teaching, Pharisees and teachers of the law were sitting there, who had come from every village of Galilee and Judea and from Jerusalem. And the power of the Lord was with him to heal. And behold, some men were bringing on a bed a man who was paralyzed, and they were seeking to bring him in and lay him before Jesus, but finding no way to bring him in, because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and let him down with his bed through the tiles into the midst before Jesus. And when he saw their faith, he said, “Man, your sins are forgiven you.” And the scribes and the Pharisees began to question, saying, “Who is this who speaks blasphemies? Who can forgive sins but God alone?” When Jesus perceived their thoughts, he answered them, “Why do you question in your hearts? Which is easier, to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven you,’ or to say, ‘Rise and walk’? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—he said to the man who was paralyzed—“I say to you, rise, pick up your bed and go home.” And immediately he rose up before them and picked up what he had been lying on and went home, glorifying God. And amazement seized them all, and they glorified God and were filled with awe, saying, “We have seen extraordinary things today.”
   

(Luke 5:17-26 ESV)

So why aren't we teaching people how to walk?

We teach them to stop.
To set more boundaries.
To repent.

And all those are good.
Really good actually.

Jesus would tell them to rise up and walk because their sins were forgiven, and He would instruct them to sin no more.

I want to rise and walk.
I want to sin no more.

I want my feet to be led by the Gospel.

And I really wanna teach people as I go, how to walk faithfully in what God is calling them to, as opposed to just how to stop sinning.



So go!

Put the Gospel on your feet and walk it out wherever you go.

08 January 2013

{a walk through} psalm 3


Starting January 2013, I decided to take a little step into a semi big blog commitment. I'm going to walk through the Psalms on my blog. Until the book is done, I'll post a verse or two in a photo every single Tuesday and Thursday. The heart of this series is for me to be looking into the word and being intentional to post HIS words here. Sometimes it'll just be the one photo as a blog post, sometimes I'll share what the words in the verse meant to me as I read it, and sometimes I'll have a post going on that day that speaks of other things. Thanks for joining me in this Psalm walk through.

The other night, I lay in bed, waiting for sleep to arrive.

Suddenly I had this deep urge to pray.

So I did.

I climbed onto my knees, still comfortably on my bed (I'm all about knee prayers but even for me a midnight cold hardwood floor prayer was not happening in that moment - man, why do I write this stuff), and hung out with my Saviour.


I talked more with Him about the post that went up yesterday. Did you read it? I kind of think that it is really pretty so go read it ---> here. <-- a="a" also="also" and="and" br="br" comments.="comments." few="few" got="got" it="it" kind="kind" re="re" read.="read." there="there" they="they" thoughtful="thoughtful" very="very" worth="worth">

I've been thinking a lot about how my only marriage might be the one that all Christians will be in with Jesus on the other side of eternity. And how I might not get one this side. And I've got an odd peace about it.

I know myself well enough that this peace will probably be gone halfway through today, but I'm resting in this beauty that a wedding feast is for sure for sure FOR SURE coming. And it might not just have my name and some dude from some city on earth on the invitation. There's this feast coming, this beautiful wedding feast of Jesus and His Bride, the Church. I'm so excited for that.

Last week, Mackenzie posted this video and it has got me thinking a lot about that. The mom in the video talked about praying for the purity of her daughter's future husband and how she hadn't realized at the time that she had been praying for Jesus. WOW. That blew my mind last week and so encouraged my soul.

So, all this to say, God is good. He is a provider. I'm calling aloud to Him often right now, and I'm soooooo very excited about the fact that when I wake tomorrow, the Lord will sustain me. Bam Bam. He is my glory, my shield, and He is the lifter of my head. BAM BAM BAM BAM!

speaking of "bam", have I mentioned here lately that the most comment word for me to write in my Bible as I'm reading is "wow" because I just get blown away allllllll the time.

Rest in that truth. He is a good God. For those who believe the Gospel, the fact that Jesus died for sinners and rose again to give life - He is a good God.

. . .

P.S. Yesterday,  I received a sweet package in the mail from Jac that was filled with many things plus this note filled with confidence and comfort. She was one of a few people who knew how hard it was for me to post my pretty devotions piece last week. I really was terrified to post it because I knew it was bold and I knew it was a post that would convict & edify. And edification is scary. People love encouragement and pretty pictures of DIY's. They don't love being told that their devotional life might be sinful. Edification is scary but faithfulness to truth that is from God is more important to me than silence and nice comfortable friends.

Yesterday, the note came at such a perfect moment. I had just come home from an evening with the leaders at church and was fired up about what God is doing and is going to do in Vancouver. This note just encouraged me to keep going!


What are you excited about? What is God stirring in your heart to share? Are you walking through Scripture right now in any way? I'd love to hear from you.

07 January 2013

until tomorrow



One day I'm content.
The  next I'm restless.

The next I'm complete in Him.
The next I've completely forgotten.

And it all revolves around this relationship that isn't arriving.
And yet I know that the lowercase "he" will never satisfy.

Until the uppercase "He" is the one I love
with my whole heart
with all my emotion
with my soul
and entire being
and mind
and strength
and tears

Until then
Even

the most romantic moment
the most lovely date
the sweetest kiss
the tightest handhold
the deepest secrets told
the kindest love.

None.

None will satisfy like Jesus.



So I'll write these words today.
And pray that I can write them again tomorrow.
And on the tomorrow after, when I will forget

I'll read them again.

Jesus.
Oh sweet Jesus.

Hold me tighter than I hold anything

Shine brighter to me than any ring I desire.
Last longer than any kiss that will come.

Be who you already are.

Because in You, oh my King Jesus,
in you
I live.

But when tomorrow forgets
Remind me.


1. I'm not depressed. If you read this and heard that word in the tone, you're vastly wrong. I'm joyous in the Jesus who IS ENOUGH. 

2. I read an article on Desiring God on how the church should treat singles and I tweeted it (twice actually), put it out on facebook, and I'm telling you now - GO READ IT! NOW. Here is the link. Seriously. And then put it into action. If you're a single - put it into action. If you're married - put it into action.  I truly believe that if the church lived this out, singles would act vastly different, marriage would be viewed differently (aka maybe it wouldn't be glorified like it is salvation), and maybe, just maybe, hearts would come to know JESUS for who HE is - the ONE who satisfies.

Some of my favourite lines: 
"Conversely, unmarried men and women are not the church’s workhorses. As a new believer, I was in big demand as a new babysitting resource in the church." 
". . .we single adults need loving challenges when we have allowed a root of bitterness to spring up and block our prayers to God, our fellowship with others, and our service to the church. Deferred hopes cannot be allowed to corrode our thankfulness for the gift of salvation." 
"Through the years, I've observed that The Singles can be a prickly lot to pastor. Whatever leaders say from the pulpit about singleness is guaranteed to encourage some and offend more. I know because I’ve been in both camps, depending on where I am in the cycle of hope or despair and how I am working that out in my soul before God."
I love that line of depending on where in the cyle of hope or dispair - my heart so understands that cycle - hence this post today
3. If you're here. Comment. I see the numbers. I know you've made it this far. It's easy to live life and be lonely. To read things and not comment. But HONESTLY, silence builds nothing. Words build community. You are WELCOME here.

4. That's all.

04 January 2013

walking in nature








My friend April and I went for a walk through the trails by my parent's house. My parents live in a great townhouse that happens to sit right on a pond (click here for the link to those photos - pretty pretty?) that also connects to a bunch of trails. It was a fairly muddy day so a lot of my pictures didn't turn out because mud actually isn't very pretty..

We talked through our joys, our struggles, and then laid everything down before our God.
It was good.

Also, speaking of good hair (what), do you see how gross my hair looks in that photo? That is called my washed it, then used product to make it wavy/curly, it looked good for two days, and this is day three, and a shower SHOULD have happened before the walk. I promise I washed it soon after getting home - either that or I put a tuque on.

AND speaking of good friends, April fits in that category. She constantly inspires me to choose joy before any other emotion. She encourages me to give everything to Jesus because He is in control. She reminds me of truth because she lives it out each day. She's a keeper. And you should pray for her Mom okay --> Meet Virginia

03 January 2013

{a walk through} psalm 2


Starting January 2013, I decided to take a little step into a semi big blog commitment. I'm going to walk through the Psalms on my blog. Until the book is done, I'll post a verse or two in a photo every single Tuesday and Thursday. The heart of this series is for me to be looking into the word and being intentional to post HIS words here. Sometimes it'll just be the one photo as a blog post, sometimes I'll share what the words in the verse meant to me as I read it, and sometimes I'll have a post going on that day that speaks of other things. Thanks for joining me in this Psalm walk through.

You are my Son;
today I have begotten you.

You are mine.

You are my child.

My first born son.

My biological child.





As women it's easy to get caught up in all the "son" and "men" talk in the Bible.
And I've seen lots of girls get in a frenzy because it doesn't seem fair.

I've found such comfort in knowing that in the culture that this was written in, a son was looked at differently. Culturally, the first born son meant so much.

So to be called a first born son of God is what I want to be called.

I want to be the heir.

And through the life and death and resurrection of Jesus, I am an heir.

Wow.
Wow.
WOW!

  

02 January 2013

that heart-y thing





The process from idea to formation for this blog design took some time but I always knew that the heart-y thing was going to be a part of the design.

The first time I saw the heart thing was in a sketchy little bar in Seattle. My friends and I had driven down to see a show. The reason my friends went was for the headliner but I went because a little-known singer named Lights was opening. I met her that night and she still remains one of my favourite artists.



I included two versions of this photo because I wanted to share how I used to edit photos back when I was a little baby. It's amazing what 4 years can do to a girl's editing style.

AND I'm pretty sure I didn't think people would notice that I had edited yet. Yeah . . . cool.


Anyways, back to the heart thing!

So. At some point in the show I went into the bathroom and low and behold I saw the heart thing drawn on the bathroom stall.

I wish I had an original photo but alas . . . 4 years ago is a long time.

I saw the heart thing and just fell in love with it. I decided to get a tattoo of it.

I told my brother and he told me to wait a year. If I still wanted it in a year, then it was a great idea to get as a tattoo.

well it's been 4 years and still no tattoo, but not for lack of desire. I just can't decide if I want it on my foot or wrist - thoughts?

I drew it when I went home.

And I draw it all the time.

On napkins.
In my Bible.
On my sermon notes.
On my feet.
In cards.
everywhere

So when the designer asked me what I wanted in a design, I sent her these photos.




Isn't it wonderful that her writing (design style) is far better than mine?

The heart thing means so much to me.

The meaning has changed throughout different seasons but the heart of it (pun intended) sticks with me.

It means to love fully.
Without fear.

It's based on several verses.

Matthew 14:14 - where Jesus heals a crowd of sick people despite having just withdrawn to have some space -->  love without ceasing

Proverbs 3:3 - which talks about not letting love and faithfulness leave --> love always. remain loving always.

It points in several directions.

It's a love that looks different than the traditional cultural version of love.

A love that forgives, loves, hopes, seeks peace, and points to the only One who is capable of true love: Jesus.

And that's why I blog.

To share His love.

01 January 2013

{a walk through} psalm 1

HAPPY NEW YEAR! (Or New Years, or New Year's --> all depending on how you prefer your reading)

Welcome to {a walk through the book of Psalms}.

Near the beginning of December, I started praying about starting something intentional for the new year. I wasn't quite sure what it would be until I thought about walking through different books of the Bible and sharing the words here. 

As I started looking at the book, I thought about how I would make a series that was sharing the Bible readable and shareable and I realized that it would be cool to just share a portion of each chapter and to put the verses on photos.

I've really been enjoying becoming dear friends with pixlr and this way it'll challenge me to get better at design while challenging me to get into the Word consistently each week.

I'm not sure how this will look long-term. It kinda freaks me out to say that I'm committing to the entire book and yet it's good for me to do that as well.

So. Welcome to this new series.

Over the next year (and a bit) I'll be sharing two chapters per week, one on Tuesday and one on Thursday. Some days will just have the photo whereas others will have what the verse made me think about, or pointed me to, and then other weeks might also contain a blog post that has nothing to do with the series. I don't want to promise much because I'll certainly fail at anything spectacular, but I want to commit to keep sharing scripture here.

So here goes. Here's the first one!



As I've mentioned a few times lately, I'm in a season of waiting for God to provide. I've applied for close to a hundred jobs, interviewed for over ten jobs, and I'm praying daily to HIS provision.

Lately I certainly feel like I'm withering.

But just like I sang these words right after I wrote them

would I weather a different storm
or would I wither from the scorn



(my youtube account has been acting funny. If for some reason this video is showing a different one that the song "Wither", please utilize this link)

I don't want to wither.
Ever.
I want to stand firm wherever HE places me.

I don't know the future.
But I know where my roots lie - deep in Jesus.