16 January 2013

moving forward with feedback

On Monday, I shared a post called unequal eggs.

After I posted this, I had a lot of feedback. Most was good and encouraging, and it's a post that has garnered more views than normal. It's fast catching up with my other post last week called until tomorrow.

One piece of feedback asked me to consider my words. It didn't come in the form of an anonymous comment or mean spirited words, but wise caution and advice.

The lovely friend who did so is one who I admire and trust much. She has a story that is beautiful, because her husband dated her when she did not love Jesus. So to her, this idea comes with an entirely different view.

She and I have been spending a little bit of time writing back and forth today, talking about it, and I've been praying and trying to ask God what to do. Do I delete my words? Are they wrong? Or do they something added? Or taken away? Or WHAT oh what shall I do?

But I don't feel as though I should take it down. That post shares my story. It's so true to me. I do though, want to add to it.

Because my story is mine.
And your story is yours.
The only unifying thing in our stories is that we are both sinners and God is God.

So I want to share a bit of what I wrote to her. Here's an excerpt:

I never want to make a statement that hurts. I think for me, God has led me to a place of not dating someone who doesn't love Him, and I made bad decisions when I was dating the guy.
I've been thinking too, and I think that for me, in that relationship, it wasn't redemptive, and I wasn't even caring if he became a Christian.
That's where my heart was when I dated a non-Christian. I wasn't living for Jesus and I honestly didn't care if he was. I was satisfying my flesh. The entire time I walked away from Jesus (and I can say this confidently looking back), I was attempting to satisfy myself. I was (and honestly, I still am) so very selfish and I wanted to be served. I had needs (in my mind) and I wanted them met!

If you have read the post from Monday, or are about to read it, don't just hear a DON'T DO attitude, but more a, what has God called you to do and what has God called you to walk away from? If you're in a relationship with someone who doesn't love Jesus, are they pushing you towards God or away? And regardless of what that answer is, are you okay with what is happening?

If you've noticed certain shifts in your heart away from God, how does that make you feel?

My sweet friend shared these words:

I'm pretty sure that if you're speaking to someone who is in love with a non Christian and you tell her basically to "get out now" -- well that's not going to be received well. But if you help her to a place where she can seek God on her own terms, that might more likely happen and God will meet her there.

Also, I think inspiring questions like "what things in your life have you put this person before? Had the relationship become an idol in your life? How's your prayer life? Are you still going to church? Are you able to have discussions about your faith with this person? Does being with this person make you reject God? Are you honoring God in the times you are alone with this person?" Just questions that would make them look into their owns lives instead of at yours and say, "well I'm okay cause we're not like that."
Look at her wisdom. I do love her.

And I shared with her, and I'll share now - I think the way I would approach a real life relationship and how I write on my blog is different. In real life, I can see someone. I can walk life with them and hear them. I can see who they spend time with. I can build a relationship that is kind.

It's a lot harder when I type words and hit publish and pray that my words impact well.

I can never make decisions for you. I'd love to. I'd love to hop up into the God chair and just decide what is correct and what is not, but more so, I'd love if everybody loved Jesus and lived as He calls us to.

So if you read my words, both today, the other day, and any day, and feel hurt by what I say, please see something I also shared with my dear friend:
I'm so thankful that God saved you, and I do believe He can redeem anything. I also think we need to be faithful to listen to Him and obey, but it can get so messy and complicated, especially since there are stories in scripture of people marrying people of other cultures/religions because God told them to, because He typically told them not too.
K. I so hear your wisdom in this, and I would put it into practice in a real life relationship, and I'll try to choose wisely how I start the things I share.
I don't want to offend, but I also am not okay with people being comfortable in their sin, and I've prayed so much about these things I've been posting, that I'll be wise and bold and courageous. I want/need to pray that I am also kind because God is so kind.
I always want to be kind.
I always want to share truth.
Mostly, I want Jesus to work in my heart and your heart and everyone's hearts. 
It's only when we encounter Jesus that our hearts can move within God's will.

So know this. I love you. Even though I don't know you.
I pray for you often. Almost every single day.
My prayer is always that God will get glory and that hearts will hear His truth in what I write.

So yeah. I love you.

update: I'm not planning to take it down. I just wanted to respond to what had been told to me, and what sat on my heart today. xoxo