I knew my heart was feeling a little bit fragile, a lot bit encouraged, a tiny bit discouraged, filled with fear, filled with anticipation, filled with uncertainty, filled with hope.
My heart was feeling pretty full. Too full for my liking.
I walked and I talked quietly to Jesus. I held my phone up to my ear for a second to pretend that I was on my phone, and decided I'd rather just look crazy.
I walked and I talked and the rain started to fall.
Normally I hate rain. Actually always I hate rain. Well, not always. But if I have to be in the rain, I hate the rain.
The rain didn't bother me.
Big drops lightly tapped the pavement.
The rain drops created a quiet symphony.
I walked a little bit quicker, unsure if the rain would suddenly downpour.
I stopped to take a picture of a boat. It seemed so picturesque yet also unattractive.
I continued my walk and came across beautiful flowers. I slowed my pace to stop and just really look at the detail in each individual flower.
I was reminded of the verse that speaks of considering the lilies of the field, how they're clothed even better than Solomon (who apparently was clothed VERY well), and how God cares more for us.
I felt my heavy weighted heart lighten just a little bit.
I walked away from the flowers and made my way along the seawall.
I stopped soon again to capture an interesting looking patch of land.
I kept walking for a while, pausing when I had a good view to continue my reflections.
Jesus why did I have to lose my job?
Jesus why did my roommate have to move?
Jesus why do I have to move?
Jesus why do the dreams I have for my life never seem to come true?
Jesus what do I do now?
I continued my walk, stopping again quickly to capture a beautiful set of yellow flowers.
An interesting (read:sketchy) man made a comment to me as the flowers happened to be right in front of him. I just smiled at him like I do whenever I feel uncomfortable.
I kept on walking.
Pausing for pretty flowers.
Letting go of my questions and simply letting my heart hope.
I sat on a bench and faced the water for a while.
I stopped thinking and reflecting for a while, and just rested.
Not from a physical tiredness, but a soul tiredness.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.
He is near to all who are weary.
He loves the tired.
He holds the fragile.
He understands the sad.
