More passion.
I've found myself feeling dull. Feeling quick to say no to fun plans and yes to burdensome things.
A few weeks ago, I felt like I lost my mind. I didn't and that's an exaggeration of sorts, but I just came to this moment where I was so overwhelmed by all the things in front of me that I couldn't cope. I went home and got honest with myself about my limitations.
I wasn't being wise with my time. I wasn't stewarding it, wasn't respecting it, wasn't letting it be used well.
That moment of truth happened to be during my month of "quiet".
In my mind I feel like I've shared much about that quiet month but in actuality I haven't shared much. I've written much about it, in my journals and all over evernote, but here - it's harder to share about something when you're not sure if you were a success or a failure.
I had sweet intentions with quiet. Intentions of quiet nature really. But instead I just filled my time more and more and more. And when I had quiet, I wasted it watching tv shows and in other mindless ways.
More passion.
In our mastermind group, the Sunday before the week I lost my mind, I shared how I wanted more passion. How I was tired of this numbing business, this endless tired.
So November is for far more passion.
I'm scaring myself with the things I say no to. I'm saying no to opportunities that seem actually incredible because while they sound excellent, they're not well timed.
As in somebody offered me an incredible job that would fill every evening of my life until January. An incredible job. Like I could write a lot of paragraphs about why it would be a dream job. I had to say no because I want to be a good human who has time to love God first and also love people super well.
I'll never steward well the things I'm doing now if I keep adding more and more things to my to do list. It will topple.
I'm not turning down every opportunity that comes my way, but I'm being a little more hesitant with my yes.
In fact, lately, I've decided that my to do is to do less. I'll share more about that another day, but it's been helpful to remember that. That doing less is better than more.
My yes list is good right now. It's life giving and fruitful and good. My no list is difficult. No is a hard mentality for me to live out. No is also a sweet learning curve to get through - getting over my yes girl lifestyle.
I'm saying yes to bowling, to drives to get coffee in America instead of here in Canada, yes to going to documentary screenings and pie for dinner. Yes to waiting in line forever for breakfast. Yes to books and selfies and silly faces for days.
Busy and tired are inevitable. Passion is not. I'm seeking out passion.
It's a goal that only I can measure. And so well it's measuring itself out well.
The idea of more passion is something I want to speak of more often.
Expect to hear how life is being lived out with more passion.
What do you do to live a passionate life? What do you say yes to, and what's hard to say no to?
