24 October 2012

Prove It


To be known by God is incredible.

It’s incredibly terrifying because it means He knows all of my thoughts, sinful as they typically are.

It’s also the most comforting thing ever because His love is greater than all else.

            O LORD, you have searched me and known me!
            You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
                        you discern my thoughts from afar.
            You search out my path and my lying down
                        and are acquainted with all my ways.
            Even before a word is on my tongue,
                        behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.
            You hem me in, behind and before,
                        and lay your hand upon me.
            Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
                        it is high; I cannot attain it.
            Where shall I go from your Spirit?
                        Or where shall I flee from your presence?
(Psalm 139:1-7 ESV)


Yesterday, I made a decision for which I'm paying for and will for a while pay the consequenceces.

But God is bigger.
Jesus is all I can cling to right now. 
The fact that He knows me and loves me, through my deep sin, is overwhelming.

Yesterday as I lay on the floor with a solid ugly cry face on, calling out to Jesus to provide refuge, I realized another reason why grace is so incredible.

Because I don't deserve it.



And I can prove it.

Just take a minute to walk a day with me.
Maybe I'd make it a minute, but spend an hour, a day, a week, a month. 
My sin will show up.
Cause my sin is vast.
His grace is bigger.

The grace of Jesus is SO much bigger than I ever knew.

Far too often I think I kind of deserve it, since I love Jesus so much.
But my (small, inadequate, and simple) love isn't enough to gain salvation.
Jesus is enough.

  

I'm so grateful for this grace I can't comprehend.
Yet lately I'm also feeling like I need to say sorry to Jesus all the time.



 My inadequacy and sin doesn't stop His grace.



I am fully known and fully loved.

Woah.

I am blown away.       


Does anybody else ever read scripture and feel inadequate and yet completely cared for at the same time? Oh man. I sure do.