Worship is many things. It's loving Jesus. It is not confined in music, but I love when I get an opportunity to lead others in musical worship. It's such an honour.
It's an honour and it's humbling to serve on a worship team. It's the most fun ever and also carries different weights which also makes it hard to do.
I don't know how to explain it. I wrote this entire post and came back to this part because I don't know how to explain the weight of it. I can never quite understand how worship can be such a mix of extreme joy and yet deep sorrow for me. I think it's partially because I see Jesus working and I see people reject Him all within the span of six songs. Jesus does the saving - so I can rest and trust His timing for the salvation of souls.
Time after time, God consistently speaks to my soul as I worship through song. I think He knows that I need Him to speak to me through melody and harmony. He lets me get lost in the words and sounds and then He speaks to me. Sometimes it'll come during the oddest lines in the songs.
Today it was during a line speaking about ambitions when Jesus just challenged me to rest and trust Him to move in an area where I've been grasping for control. It's time to seek Him alone.
There's other moments, and these ones are harder to do as a worship leader, when He tells me to stop singing and to pray. But Lord I'm supposed to sing right now but Nadine you're going to pray to me. Okay.
It's amazing to see Him evidence Himself through those prayers.
God is so cool in music to me. There was one point today when I was playing a sweet song and just loving it, and was just lost in His Spirit. I love that He allows me, and those who call upon His name, to experience moments where the Holy Spirit is just so big and loud and huge and evident and amazing.
I pray that everyone knows His Spirit. I really do. I hate that there are so many who do not know His love. It hurts my soul that there are people walking all over this earth without the love of Jesus in them.
I glanced at the Holy Spirit during that song and whispered, "God, you're so cool".
It's the coolest thing to get to watch people who love Jesus walk forward and receive Him each Sunday. It's beautiful to watch broken people suddenly find hope and those who feel sorrow suddenly experience joy.
God is so cool. I'm so grateful He lets this silly girl play any type of role in His kingdom. I'm not quite sure why He uses me - except that it gives Him glory. A good God using a desperately awful girl like me shows that He can do all things (or at least that's what I think about it).
This girl loves Jesus. I'm glad He loves me as well. It makes everything so much better.
